Tiny Toons: The Lemon


     Buster Bunny sighed for the nth time as he looked outside the window,
wondering yet again what had happened.  Off in the distance, a truly massive
storm front was creeping across the land, casting darkness beneath it and
giving everyone a case of the willies.
     I bet it's 'cuz Steve went on vacation, he thought, mentally referring to
the Tiny Toon's creator, Steven Spielberg.  He leaves his desk, and some two-
bit cartoon hack thinks he can sneak in and bend us to his will for a time.
He shuddered to himself as he mentally added, And he probably can.
     A sharp slap of pain cracked across his knuckles and he yelped, nearly
hitting the ceiling as he jumped up in surprise.  He blinked hard as he looked
up, rubbing his sore hand.  Whoops, guess I was daydreaming again....
     "Maybe now you'll pay attention, Buster," Granny said as she glared at
him, tapping the ruler in her hand and looking more like a stern old school
marm rather than the sweet, scatterbrained old lady she usually was.  Everyone
knew the ruler she was presently wielding was supposed to be composed of some
type of light-weight aluminum, but anyone who had been smacked with it would
have sworn it had been forged from tempered steel.
     Buster sighed, his blue-furred ears wilting.  "I'm sorry, Granny, I was
just thinking about Gogo."  Among other things, he added silently.
     Granny sighed as she returned to her desk, absently tossing the ruler on
the ledge of the chalkboard.  "Who else is worried about the little guy?" she
asked unexpectedly.  As one, the entire class raised their hands.  Everyone
glanced around for a moment as they made their own headcounts before returning
their attention to their substitute teacher for the day.
     "It was, like, so totally unexpected," Shirley the Loon said.  "I mean,
one day he was his zany little self, and the next he was, like, so totally
zonked."
     "We all know he has his own brand of reality," added Plucky Duck, "Which,
frankly speaking, is just plain weird.  But this is too weird, even for Gogo."
     "Ze way he talks now, eet gives me ze chills," FiFi LeFume said sadly.
     Babs Bunny frowned.  "What I don't get is why is it none of the original
toons like Bugs Bunny or Foghorn Leghorn are saying much about his condition."
     Montana Max crossed his arms and scowled.  "Yeah, the pink powderpuff has
a point.  How come we don't hear more about it?"
     "Pink powderpuff?" Babs said softly as the pink fur on the back of her
neck ruffled and a dangerous edge crept into her voice.
     Buster sighed.  "Rope it in, Babs, you can kick his butt later."
     "Dizzy like kicking butt!" Dizzy growled cheerfully as he gave Plucky an
appraising look.
     Plucky blinked hard and scooted behind Hampton J. Pig.  "Hey, I have
nothing to do with this," Plucky protested.  "Go run after Little Beeper or
something."  That earned him a hiss from Little Beeper and things started to
head downhill from there.
     Granny slowly sat down as the class, for the moment, reverted to their
usual brand of antics.  Two days ago, something catastrophic had happened at
the edge of the Tiny Toon 'reality' where Gogo Dodo made his home.  No one knew
precisely what it was, but the event had been traumatic enough to shock him
sane.  With Gogo's new-found sanity unable to cope with his surroundings, the
'WB' shield that marked the doorway into the 'odd' dimension had expelled him
into the 'normal' dimension as a purely defensive reaction and vanished.
     At least, that was the official explanation of what they knew.
     Granny sighed, feeling every bit as old as she looked.  She knew that
there was far more to the story than a case of Gogo's loose screws getting
tightened by something.  The rumors that Steven Spielberg was on vacation and
not at his desk were entirely true, although such knowledge was encouraged to
be kept as quiet as possible.  And it was times like these when a mysterious
something crops up in Steven's absence that truly worried her, for without his
hand to guide events no one could say for sure what would happen next.
     A phone began to ring somewhere in the classroom, bringing the chaotic
melee of toons to a halt and creating an interesting tableau in the process.
Babs had Montana in an arm lock and her mouth open to a truly massive degree,
poised to sink her formidible bunny incisors into his leg.  Beeper was perched
on Hampton's back and pecking at his head, pinning the pig to the ground.
Dizzy had just finished spinning his leg up into a very tight knot and was
ready to deliver a potentially devistating kick to Hampton's unguarded rear
end.  Shirley had her hands securely wrapped around Plucky's throat and a very
unsettling red tint to her eyes as she knelt on his chest.  Plucky, for his
part, was flailing around like a fish out of water and trying (with very little
success) to gasp for air.  The desks that hadn't been too close to the various
brawls were piled together into a fort-like construction in the corner of the
room.  Behind it, Buster and Fifi kept a careful eye on the events, Buster not
wanting to get involved in the mess and Fifi holding her tail like a machine
gun, ready to blast anyone who came near with her potent musk.
     A pity Steven isn't here to get this moment on film, Granny thought as a
cricket quietly chirped in the sudden silence.  The phone rang again and she
sighed heavily.  Oh, no, not THAT phone.... she mentally moaned as she picked
up her purse, which was about the size of a small handbag, and began to dig her
way inside and towards the bottom.
     "I didn't know she had a phone in there," Babs said slowly as the room
was quickly straightened out and things returned to what passed for normal.
     "She probably didn't want you or Shirley to start asking to phone home
about something," Buster quipped.
     Babs shot him a we-are-not-amused look.  "Oh, please.  That's what this
is for," she said as she held up a designer celluar phone with more than a few
cutting-edge technology functions built in.
     "How'd you get that?" Hampton asked as he sat down and rubbed the sore
spot on his head.
     Granny sighed as she finally unearthed the phone and pulled it out of her
purse.  It was a vintage 1930's phone, with a rotary dial and the earpiece you
had to hold while speaking into the microphone on the stem.  A length of cord
connected the phone to some unknown object within her purse, which caused the
class to quickly exchange concerned looks.  They knew such a thing was very
much possible in their cartoon world, but for some reason seeing Granny get a
call on a phone line that was connected to something other than the telephone
company gave them a feeling of unease.
     "Hello?... Yes, this is Granny..."
     Buster felt the fur on his arms stand up as he watched the expression on
Granny's face start to change.  It was a subtle evolution: a slight increase in
the profusion of wrinkles on her forehead and around her eyes, the edges of her
lips creeping downward a fraction of a millimeter, the tiniest narrowing of her
eyes, a nearly unnoticiable change in her breathing.  If he hadn't been keeping
a close eye on her, he would never have even noticed it at all.  And that's
what truly worried him.
     "I see.... Very well, then, I'll be there as soon as I can.  Goodbye," she
said and gently set the earpiece back on the cradle.  She then took a deep
breath and looked up the class.  "That was the medical ward calling.  It seems
there's been some sort of discovery in Gogo's condition and they needed to
consult with me about something.  Class is dismissed for the day," she said as
she stuffed her phone back into her purse and quickly began to gather her
things together.  There was the expected cheer about class being cancelled and
a brief stampede for the door.  The dust soon settled, leaving Buster, Babs,
Shirley, and Fifi alone in an empty classroom.
     "So like, she moves fast for an old lady," Shirley observed as she stared
at the empty teacher's desk.
     "Zey say you are only ahz old ahz you feel," Fifi said with a shrug.
     "If you say so, although I'm not sure I'd want to know who she's been
feeling," Buster joked with a grin.
     "Buster!" Babs replied, scandalized at the suggestion.
     Shirley blinked.  "Whoa, I'm like getting some majorly bad vibes all of a
sudden," she said as she half-closed her eyes and entered a trance.
     "I hope you're not referring to the memory of Plucky's pulse beneath your
fingertips," Buster suggested, referring to the death-grip she had had on him
during the brief classroom free-for-all.
     Shirley's hair began to stir as if in a breeze.  Babs tested the air with
her ears before determining that the wind wasn't blowing and promptly put some
distance between her and the spiritualistic loon.  "I don't know about the rest
of you, but I've got a bad feeling about this...."
     "Eet eez, how you say, ze cold wind cometh?" Fifi said tenatively as she
began to edge away from Shirley.
     "That's not any phrase I've heard before, but I think I know what you're
saying," Buster replied as he too began to step back, trying to smooth his
ruffled fur.  "Talk to us, Shirley, tell us what you're seeing."
     "It's coming," she replied in a whisper, "It's being borne upon winds of
change, cold, chilling, dark as the evening twilight, twisting, writhing with
the fog that carries it, searching, seeking an outlet, seeking release...."
She suddenly gasped and her eyes went wide, their depths burning with a dark
light.  The light suddenly left her eyes and she slumped to the floor with a
moaning sigh that sent deep chills through her friends.
     "I hate it when she does that," Babs grumbled.
     Fifi knelt down and felt Shirley's pulse for a moment before reaching up
and gently peeling back one of her eyelids.
     "KO'd again?" Buster inquired.
     Fifi nodded.  "Oui, but not for long," she said as she picked up her tail
and brushed it across Shirley's nose.  The semi-unconscious loom promptly sat
up, narrowly avoiding conking heads with Fifi, and let out an explosive cough.
     "Oh, ick, what crawled up my nose and died?" she gagged as she furiously
waved her hands in front of her face.
     "She didn't mean it as an insult," Babs quickly told Fifi.
     Fifi smiled coyly.  "No insult taken, Babsie, eezpecially eef ze scent of
ze woman eez enough to stir ze body into action."
     Babs gave her a blank look and Buster scratched his head in confusion.
"Somehow, Fifi, I don't think that's what Al Pacino had in mind when he made
that movie," Buster said slowly.  "I think she's reacting more to your musk
than your usual perfumed smell."
     Now it was Fifi's turn to look confused.  "I zoo not mean to dizappoint
you, Bustair, but I zoo not wear ze perfume.  My scent eez au natural.  See for
yourself," she said as she pressed her tail up against his nose.
     Buster's first instinct was to hold his breath and run like mad down the
hall.  He knew first-hand how borderline-lethal her musk could be when she got
riled up and he had no desire to experience the smell again.  He blinked as his
lungs began to burn from lack of oxygen and he realized that he was running out
of both time and options.  He sighed without thinking about it, not realizing
he was doing so until he was totally out of air.  Guess that settles it, he
thought as he steeled himself and inhaled.  This is probably going to hurt....
     The first sensation he felt was that of relief from asphyxiation.  Joy,
at least I don't get to die that way, he thought as he continued to lightly
inhale.  He paused after a second when he realized the inside of his nose was
in no danger of buring itself out, let out what little air he had taken in,
and took a deeper whiff of the silky mass of fur.
     A decidedly pleasant smell ticked his nose, a welcome scent compared to
the expected musk.  He had his suspicions about the origins of her musk, but
he didn't think he wanted to find out for sure.  He had expected that the smell
of her musk would have been permenantly impregnated into her fur, but he found
much to his delight that it wasn't.  The scent that drifted up at him wasn't
something he could place right away, but it was definitely something he could
get used to.
     "You going to hold her tail all day, or are you going to help me take
Shirley home?" said Babs, her voice intruding into his reverie like the blade
of a knife.
     "Oh, right," Buster replied as he stepped away from Fifi's tail and gave
her an odd look.  "I see what you mean, Fifi, but I'm not sure how that would
jolt Shirley awake like it did."
     "Vive la difference," Fifi replied, giving him a somewhat sultry look.
     "No, no, I'm fine," Shirley said as Babs hauled her to her feet.  "I just
got, like, too deep into the moment."
     "Yeah, well that moment had us all spooked," Buster said.  "Care to clue
us in on what you were talking about?"
     Shirley shivered.  "It's not something I'd like to dwell on.  I think it
felt like a warning or some junk.  I don't know about you three, but I'm going
to jet out of here and go camp out in my room, you know?"
     "Eef we are to go zoon, we should leave now," Fifi said as she looked out
the window.  "Ze storm front looks to be getting closer, and I suspect ze rain
eez not very far behind."
     "Oh, ick, like, all that moisture would totally ruin my hair," Shirley
said with a frown.  "Talk about your bad karma days."
     "I remember ze last 'bad karma day' you had," Fifi said with more than a
little sourness.  "Eef you zoo not mind, we should avoid zat again, no?"
     Babs nodded so hard it seemed her head was about to fall off.  "I'm with
you on that one."
     "Saddle up, then, we're outta here," Buster stated as he began to walk
out of the classroom, followed by his friends.  Together the four of them left
the university and headed in the direction of Shirley's house, warily eyeing
the darkening skies and trying to ignore the subtle chill that hung in the air
like morning fog.
     And somewhere in the grand scheme of things, a decision was made.

                *               *               *               *

     By the time they reached Shirley's house, the temperature had dropped by
a good fifteen degrees and the air had turned become disturbingly still.
     "You know, you guys might, like, want to stay here for awhile," Shirley
said as she opened the door and cast a glance over her shoulder at the darkened
sky.  "That looks like a major storm, and it's awfully close."
     Buster barely glanced at the sky.  "Nah, my burrow isn't too far away.
We should get there before it hits, and if not, it's only water."
     Babs wrinkled her nose.  "That's easy for to say.  You don't have a hard
time combing the knots and tangles out of your fur after a shower."
     "Eet eez not ahz bad ahz you zink, Babs," Fifi chuckled as she ran her
fingers through the soft, silky fur of her tail.  "I look like ze drowned rat
when soaked, and eet takes twice ahz long to brush out my fur.  But such ze
good feeling eet eez to play in ze rain, and later to dry off by ze fireplace.
Ahh, such ze romantic image, no?"
     Buster and Babs exchanged knowing looks, having long ago given up paying
much attention to Fifi's tendency to daydream about romance.  Their attention
was quickly refocused as they heard Fifi gasp and ask, "Shirley, what eez ze
matter?"
     Shirley leaned against the door frame, her breath seeming to have caught
in her throat and her eyes wide.  "It's coming...." she said quietly, then
closed her eyes and tried to slip into a meditative trance.
     "Here we go again," Buster grumbled.
     "Stow it, blue boy, and help me get her inside," Babs snapped back as she
took hold of Shirley's arm.  "We should put her on the couch, so when she conks
out again she'll be able to rest."
     "Good idea," Buster agreed as he took Shirley's other arm.  Together the
bunnies guided Shirley into her house and steered her to the couch.  She had
just barely sat down when she began to speak again.
     "It's coming.... it knows what it wants, and it won't rest until it gets
it, seeking, searching, hunting, no rest, no sleep, so cold, so empty, must
find the warmth, the fulfillment, have to slake the thirst, the hunger, the
need, raw, primal, want it, need it, must...."
     Even though it was expected, the sudden gasp from Shirley almost caused
everyone else to hit the ceiling.  With a nearly silent moan, the loon tilted
to one side and fell over, unconscious even before her head hit the soft pillow
on the couch.
     Buster tried to let his breath out as evenly as he could and looked over
at his companions.  Babs' ears were sticking straight up and were as rigid as
steel, while the fur on her body was a sickly shade of light pink.  Fifi's fur
had spiked with fright and her tail had poofed out to nearly double it's usual
size.  You know, Buster thought, that kinda looks good on her.  Maybe when this
is over I'll bring it up to see what she thinks....
     "Did I ever mention I hate it when she does that?" Babs squeaked in a
voice that was pitched a full octave above her normal tone.
     "I think you mentioned it over a glass of carrot juice one day," Buster
said in a voice as calm and relaxed as he could manage.
     "Her words were so... so...." Fifi trailed off as she searched for the
right words to express her thoughts.
     "If she says romantic, I'll tie her to a tree and leave her to the mercy
of that storm," Babs grumbled quietly to Buster as she tried to calm herself.
     "Frightening?" Buster offered.  "Scary?  Foreboding?"
     Fifi shook her head.  "Non, ze words were full of.... passion."
     Babs sighed.  "You're hopeless, Fifi."
     "I think she meant the words were spoken WITH passion, not ABOUT passion,"
Buster explained.  Fifi nodded enthusiastically and Babs just looked up at the
ceiling, sighing quietly to herself and wondering what she had done to deserve
being saddled with a romance-minded skunk for a friend.
     "Whoops, time to boogie," Buster said hastily as he looked out a window.
"If we're gonna get home before we get wet, we better start making tracks."
     Babs looked out the window and made a few mental calculations.  "We might
get to your burrow in time, but we won't make it to mine.  And we're not even
going to pretend Fifi has a chance to stay dry if she heads home."
     "I've got a few spare rooms," Buster said as he grabbed Babs' wrist in one
hand and Fifi's in the other.  "Now let's GO!"
     The trio of toons paused only long enough to gently close Shirley's door
before moving off at a fairly respectable speed towards Buster's burrow.  The
sky behind them continued to grow darker and darker with each passing minute
and the eerie calm seemed to grow even more disturbing.
     "Wait ze moment," Fifi said as she stopped and leaned against a tree, her
chest heaving and her tongue hanging out.  "I need to rest.  I am ze lover, not
ze runner."
     Buster and Babs exchanged bemused looks, knowing that rabbits had been
designed for running.  Maybe not to the extent as a road-runner like Little
Beeper, but the pace they had moved at was only slightly taxing to them.  As
such, they still had full possession of their breath and could spare a few
moments to poke fun at their less-than-gifted skunk friend.
     "C'mon, Fifi, I thought you could outrun a few clouds," Babs teased.  "If
we had truly been running, we could probably be at your place by now."
     "I zink.... you making.... fun of moi...." Fifi panted, her accent even
thicker than usual.
     Buster chuckled as he jogged in place for a bit.  "We are.  I thought you
could handle it, seeing how you keep talking about having the endurance to get
that extra mileage."  He yelped has Babs delivered a vicious kick to his shin.
"Ow, hey!  What was that for?"
     Babs scowled at him.  "I don't believe you just said that!"
     Buster blinked.  "What?  What'd I say?"
     Fifi managed to quit panting long enough to give Buster shy and somewhat
sultry smile.  "Bustair...." she said slowly, "When I was talking about zat,
I was not talking about ze running.  Athletics, oui, but not ze running."
     Buster blinked in confusion.  "But how else do you...."  He trailed off as
something clicked in his mind and he almost bit his tongue.  "Wait, nevermind,
I think I know what you mean now."
     Babs suddenly perked up her ears.  "Hey, you hear something?"
     Buster immediately followed suit, straining his hearing to detect the
noise that Babs had heard.  He squinted his eyes as he thought he felt a very
faint sound tickle his ear, like an almost subharmonic whisper.
     "There it is again," Babs said quietly.
     "Kinda low pitched, where you almost feel it instead of hear it?" Buster
said carefully.
     "Yeah, that's it exactly...."
     "I don't know what you're talking about," he deadpanned, drawing a dark
look from Babs.  The noise brushed the very edge of his hearing again and a
frown crossed his face.  "You know.... that almost sounded like a moan."
     Babs shot him a concerned look, the fur on the back of her neck starting
to spike.  "Don't tell me that."
     Fifi cleared her throat lightly.  "Umm, guys?  You remember what Shirley
was saying?  Ze first time, not at ze house?  About how eet was coming, dark
ahz ze night and moving with ze fog?"
     Buster felt his fur start to spike and noticed out of the corner of his
eye that Babs' fur was starting to lose color again.  "Yeah, I remember some
mumbo-jumbo like that.  Do I want to ask why you're bringing this up?"
     Fifi pointed behind her.
     The storm front was practically on top of them, blocking out the light of
the cartoon sun and plunging the area into near-darkness.  Not too far behind,
a thick mist had started to obscure the landscape, a roiling mass of fog that
seemed to move on a wind that had yet to be felt.  Just then, Buster heard the
strange sound again, ever so slightly louder than before.
     "You know what I hate worse than Shirley's visions?" Babs said quietly.
     "When she eez right?" Fifi ventured, the fur on her tail at right angles
to the skin beneath.
     "Exactly.  How fast can you run?"
     Fifi shook her head.  "I am not ze sprinter like you two."
     "Stuff it," Buster said as he ran over to Fifi and wrapped her arm around
his shoulders.  "Babs, do you think....?"
     "Gotcha," Babs replied as she picked up Fifi's other arm.  Together the
two bunnies lifted Fifi off of her feet and took off running like proverbial
bats out of hell.
     "Sacre bleu, not so fast!" Fifi gasped as the landscape turned to a blur.
     Buster and Babs ignored her as they concentrated on holding her up and
running as fast as they could, trying to outrun the storm and the mass of fog
that had struck a primal nerve of fear.  The storm by itself would have been
enough to spook them, but coupled with Shirley's spiritualistic words, it was
sufficient to frighten them beyond words.  And because they were busy with
running instead of thinking, they neglected to communicate their intentions to
one another with regards to where they were headed.
     "Bustair!" Fifi screamed, "Babs!  Watch out for ze...!"
     Buster tried to go left.
     Babs tried to go right.
     The tree decided to stay put.
     With a crash that would have made Wyle E. Coyote proud, the moving mass
of fur plowed directly into the tree.  Both Buster and Babs lost their grips
and went flying, covering a fair amount of distance before landing hard, Buster
on his backside and Babs on her head.  Fifi, who had been held between them,
smashed into the tree face-first, leaving a Fifi-shaped imprint on the trunk.
     Fifi lifted her head away from the tree and spat out a mouthful of bark.
"Tree..." she finished softly, a virtual constellation of stars and planets
circling her head in a tiny orbit.  "Ooh, my head.... I zink I take ze little
nap now, no?  Vive l'amour," she said to no one in particular.  Then in slow
motion, she slowly fell away from the tree and onto her back, out cold before
her tail even touched the ground.
     A few moments later, the fog bank reached her and she disappeared.

                *               *               *               *

     Buster grunted as his universe slowly reoriented itself into a shape that
he was used to.  "Oh, that hurt," he moaned softly as he tried to make sure
that his arm hadn't been ripped out.  A quick check confirmed that it was still
securely attached, despite what his nerves were telling him.
     "Babs, you alright?" he called out as he tried to stand up.  A searing
pain immediately engulfed his backside and he winced.  Oh, great, of all the
places to get skid marks, he thought sourly as he struggled to his feet.  He
then looked around, found Babs not too far away from him, and blinked hard.
     Her head-first landing had dug a hole in the ground, almost covering her
head down to her neck, and leaving the rest of her body sticking straight up
like a pink stick.  What got his attention, however, was the fact that her
skirt, acting in accordance with the laws of toon physics and gravity, had
turned inside-out and was hanging down towards the ground.
     Buster had always privately wondered what she wore beneath the skirt, but
never had the courage to ask.  Discovering that she didn't wear anything else
beneath it wasn't a major surprise for him.  Unlike real-world humans, toons
didn't have any 'hidden' anatomy to be concerned about.  He had always found it
odd how the syndicated plots written by Steven had required Babs to always wear
a blouse and skirt, but let Fifi run around without wearing a stitch.  On the
other hand, Fifi had far more fur than Babs, but he never was able to fully
understand things well enough for his liking.
     He mentally shrugged.  Not that it matters what we wear, or don't, as long
as we get paid the good money, he thought to himself as he walked over to the
still-prone pink bunny.  "You alright down there?" he called out, nudging her
arm with his foot.
     There was a soft grunt before Babs reached down (or up, depending on how
you see things when upside-down), buried her fingers into the dirt, and began
to dig with faster-than-light speed.  In half a second, she had dug her way
down into the ground and popped up a few feet away.
     "That hurt," she complained as she smacked the side of her head a few
times, watching the clods of dirt being expelled from her ears.
     Buster just shrugged and absently rubbed his sore backside.  "Could be
worse.  Just think of how Fifi feels right about now."
     Babs sighed and buried her face in her hands.  "Oh, man, she's gonna kill
us.  That is, provided she can still walk after that."
     He looked up and blinked, a dark chill running down his spine.  "We have
to be able to find her first, Babs.  Look."
     She turned around to look and suddenly wished she hadn't.  The mass of fog
couldn't have been more than two hundred feet away and was slowly creeping
closer.  "Oh, boy, we're in trouble now."
     "Any ideas?" Buster asked as his eyes darted around, looking for a quick
way of escaping the fear-inducing mist.
     "Think we can blow it away with a fan?" Babs asked as she dug out her
designer celluar phone.  She flipped it over, turned on it's wireless ToonNet
access function, and started punching buttons at a furious rate.
     Buster immediately dug into his pockets and pulled out a small, typically
cheap folding Oriental fan.  He flicked it open with a snap of his wrist and
started flapping hard, trying to create a breeze hard enough to deter the fog.
     Babs shot him a sidelong glance.  "That's sweet, Buster, but what I had
in mind was something a little more heavy-duty," she said as she finished her
task, flipped the phone over, and hit a turbo-speed-dial button.  "Hello, ACME
labs?  Babs Bunny here.  I need to place a CD order," she said.  She then gave
them a catalog item number, a string of numbers that Buster took to be a credit
card number of some type, and then finally a series of letters and numbers that
he couldn't even come close to identifying.
     "It's on it's way," said the voice from the phone.
     Buster shot her a concerned look, his arms still pumping furiously.  "I
know you like music, Babs, but you picked a bad time to order a CD."
     Babs smirked.  "In this case, CD doesn't mean compact disc," she said as
she quickly stepped to the side.  A whistling noise surrounded them and a dark
shadow appeared on the spot where Babs had been standing, growing larger with
each second.  Moments later, a massive industrial-grade wind turbine landed on
the ground, creating a small impact crater and causing a minor earthquake in
the process.
     "All set?" said the voice from the phone.
     "Right on time," Babs cooed.  "You people are wonderful.  Thanks," she
added before she turned off the celluar and put it back in her pocket.
     "Wha..?" Buster said as his jaw fell open and literally hit the ground.
     Babs smiled.  "Catapult Delivery.  They launch it directly from the labs.
Guaranteed delivery, anytime, anywhere, in 30 seconds or less, or it's half-
price.  Grab onto something," she said as she walked behind the turbine and
pressed the bright red power button.
     There was a soft click and suddenly they were deafened by the roar of the
turbine spinning up from zero to six-digit RPMs in the span of two seconds.
From the business end of the turbine emerged a horizontal tornado that promptly
began to rearrange the landscape into a swirling mass of technicolor pixels.
There was another soft click as Babs, realizing her error at not checking the
speed setting, hit the power button again.  Neither bunny was sure how they
could have possibly heard it over the sound of the turbine, but the gale winds
immediately died down as the massive fan blades slowly spun to a halt.
     "That was probably a little overkill," Babs said sheepishly.  "Oh, and I
like your new look."
     Buster shot her a pained look.  He had dug himself a hole to hide in, but
had almost been sucked out by the sheer power of the turbine.  His blue fur had
been blown backwards during the brief ordeal and it had stayed there, making
him look like a blue hedgehog.  "Well, at least you got the fog," he said as
he shook his fur back into place.
     Babs looked up and blinked.  There wasn't a single leaf to be found on a
tree for miles.  Not only was the fog bank gone but the storm front had been
plowed neatly in half, leaving a ribbon of blue sky in it's wake.
     And amazingly enough, a lavender figure was lying prone on the ground.
     "Fifi!" they both shouted as they raced to her side.  Buster got there
a quarter-second before Babs did and skidded to a halt at the skunk's side.
     "Hey, you alright?" he asked in concern as he felt her wrist for a pulse.
     His concern proved to be unnecessary as she coughed and sat up, most of
her fur blown behind her in odd patterns.  "Oooh la la, such ze hangover...."
she moaned as she pressed her free hand to her forehead.
     Both bunnies breathed a massive sigh of relief.  "Yeah, she'll be fine,"
Babs said.
     "No zanks to you two," Fifi said sourly as she opened her eyes and tried
to stop the world from spinning quite so fast.  "Ze next time you go for ze
little run, zon't take me along for ze ride, oui?"
     Buster blushed.  "Sorry about that," he said as he squeezed her hand.
     Fifi frowned.  "Oooh, I feel so strange...."
     "It's probably just the headache," Babs said as she helped her friend to
her feet.  "C'mon, just try to walk it off for a bit."
     "And we'll try not to walk you into any more trees," Buster quipped.
     "Merci," Fifi replied as she started to slowly walk.  Her steps were very
unsteady and Buster kept holding her hand as she moved about.  "Strange, zis
feeling seems to be getting worse," she said with a frown.
     Without warning, the <ka-ching!> sound of a cash register drawer being
opened echoed briefly and Fifi's eyes became as wide as dinner plates, her fur
spiking once more.  "Mon Dieu, what has happened?!" she gasped.
     Both Buster and Babs blinked hard.  "What is it?" Babs asked.
     Fifi tugged her hand free from Buster's hand quickly patted herself down.
"I... I zoo not believe zis!  Zis eez not possible!" she yelped with her hands
on her chest, her voice starting to crack like glass.
     "What?" Buster demanded, feeling his own fur start to spike yet again at
her panicked reactions.
     "Zis!" she yelled as she grabbed his hand and pressed it to her chest.
     Buster's ears went as rigid as steel as he felt a soft, spongy mass of
flesh beneath his palm.  He had touched her several times before in the past,
the most memorable circumstances being a wrestling match and as part of Pepe
LePew's 'hands-on' class of how one is supposed to portray a 'romantic' scene.
But in none of those situations could he remember her having anything nearly
as soft or supple as what he was feeling at the moment.
     His lips moved for a few seconds as he tried to find where exactly his
tongue had crawled off to.  "B-B-Babs, we've got a problem," he finally was
able to say as he experimentally squeezed the soft flesh.
     Fifi blinked and let out a soft sigh.  "Ooo la la, c'est magnifique," she
purred as she half-closed her eyes.
     Babs wasn't stupid by any stretch of the imagination.  She noticed both
the location of Buster's hand and Fifi's reaction to his touch, and when added
together with Shirley's warning about the fog, came to an extremely disturbing
conclusion.  "Uhh, Buster, is that what I think it is?" she said slowly.
     "This ain't no grapefruit, I'll tell you that much," he replied as he gave
Fifi another squeeze before taking his hand away and stepping back.  A thought
popped into his mind and he looked her over from head to toe.  "You don't look
like you've changed.  Well.... maybe.  Hard to tell with your fur all over the
place like that."
     "I.... zon't unzerstand," Fifi said slowly as she opened her eyes, her
lavender pupils wide with shock and confusion.  "How could zis happen?"
     "You know...." Buster said slowly, "Maybe Shirley was right about that
fog.  I mean, you were inside it for a bit, right?"
     Fifi blinked.  "Ze fog?  When was zis?"
     Babs sighed.  "Probably when you were out like a light."
     Buster cleared his throat lightly.  "Umm, Fifi.... I don't mean to be
getting personal or anything, but I don't suppose you've notice any other, ah,
similar changes?"
     Babs blinked hard.  "If P, then Q," she said quietly.
     Fifi's eyes went wide as she realized what Babs was saying.  She turned
her back to them and started patting again, the tip of her tail trembling
slightly.  With a gasp, she turned around to face them again, her eyes even
wider than before.
     "Sacre bleu, eet eez ze impossible!  I am ze anatomically correct!"

                *               *               *               *

     "Anatomically correct...." Granny said very slowly, as if trying to speak
a foreign language.  "Are you sure?"
     Gogo nodded slowly as he sat up in the hospital bed.  "Reasonably sure,"
he said in a deep timbre, his voice sounding dreadfully odd to those who knew
how he usually talked.  "I developed a bit of an itch awhile ago, and made a
rather unpleasant discovery when I tried to scratch."
     Granny sighed quietly as she finished checking his temperature and blood
pressure, not looking forward to the examination she would have to perform as
the only human-trained health professional in the toon world.  All of the 'old
school' toons were fully educated about human anatomy to a certain degree, but
only she had studied it in any great detail.  However, most of that knowledge
had been deemed inappropriate for the younger class of toons for varying
reasons, and so it had never been mentioned to them.  Eventually, Montana Max
and Elmyra Duff would have to be taught, as they were human toons, but the
general consensus was to wait until they got 'older'.
     To say that the discovery of non-human toons developing human anatomy, for
what ever reason or cause, was disturbing was probably the understatement of
the season.
     Might as well get this over with, Granny thought to herself as she put on
a pair of rubber gloves.  "I'm afraid I'm going to have to do an examination,"
she said slowly.
     Gogo shrugged with indifference and yanked off the hospital gown he had
been wearing.  His 'contract' with Steven Spielberg hadn't required him to wear
any clothes to begin with, and so the concept of modesty was still new to him.
     Granny sighed quietly, steeled herself, and looked down.  She frowned,
took off her glasses, cleaned the lenses with a tissue, put them back on, and
looked again.
     "Not a good sign?" Gogo asked with a touch of nervousness.
     Ooh, this is embarassing, Granny thought as she looked up at him.  "Hand
me that magnifying glass over there," she said as she gestured to the table at
his side.  "I'm afraid my vision is going again," she said weakly.
     A human patient would have been outraged at her request, but Gogo merely
shrugged and handed her the magnifying glass without comment.  Had he been
asked about his calm, he would have confessed his lack of knowledge about such
concepts as size in relation to being anatomically correct.
     Granny peered through the magnifying glass and blinked.  Hmm, now this is
an unexpected development, she thought.  She paused and mentally added, Not
that anything else that has happened was expected, but still....
     "Well?" Gogo prompted.
     Granny straightened up, a small frown on her face.  "Well, I can tell you
two things, the first of which is that you are indeed anatomically correct.
However, it's not human anatomy.  I'm going to have to do a little research on
this, but it seems to be modeled after a real-world dodo bird."
     Gogo nodded slowly.  "I see.  And the other thing you mentioned?"
     Granny sighed yet again and looked at the readings on her chart.  "Well,
according to an analysis of your blood, you've started to develop hormones."
     She had expected him to react to the news like any other toon would have:
Leaping up in surprise and smacking himself into unconsciousness as he hit the
ceiling, or watching his eyes pop out in shock accompanied by the sound of an
old car horn, or maybe even a complete color change of his skin.
     "I see," he said calmly.
     Granny blinked.  "My, my, you're taking this well."
     He shrugged.  "I don't doubt that if I were my usual self, I'd be in six
different places at once right now.  However, since it seems my mind has gone
completely sane.... it doesn't make sense to have an hysterical reaction.  Are
you alright?"
     She sighed and waved her hand, her other hand still clutched over her old
heart.  "Hearing you say that just gave me a start, that's all.  You must be
in bad shape if you don't find being a toon to be funny anymore."
     "Undoubtedly," he agreed, "But I think you would be hard-pressed to have
me committed to a mental institution for being sane."
     "Before all this happened, you were the mental institution," Granny said
dryly.  They shared a chuckle for a few moments before she sighed again.  "How
much do you know about what hormones will do to you?"
     Gogo shivered.  "Probably not as much as you know, but I know enough to
realize how much of a hazard they pose if left unchecked."
     Granny nodded and patted his hand.  "Well, hopefully we can figure out how
to reverse the change before it becomes a major problem.  Any luck trying to
remember what caused it?"
     He sighed and shook his head.  "My memory is still a blur, I'm afraid."
     She nodded and patted his head sympathetically.  "It's all right, Gogo,
don't strain your brain or anything.  You just put your gown back on and get
some rest, and I'll start doing a little medical research for you."
     "Thank you," he said as he wriggled back into the light green paper-thin
gown.  He chuckled unexpectedly and added, "Well, at least I'm glad this had
to happen to me instead of anyone else."
     Granny blinked.  "Oh?  How so?"
     "This sanity of mine seems to have given me a level of maturity when it
comes to thinking about such things," he explained with a slight grin.  "Just
think of what sort of things could happen if someone with, shall we say, a very
open and explorative mindset like Pepe or Fifi happened to suddenly develop
some rather specialized anatomy...."
     And somewhere in the grand scheme of things, someone smirked.

                *               *               *               *

     Both Buster and Babs stared at Fifi with their mouths hanging open as her
words finally sunk into their brains.
     "Anatomically correct?" Babs whispered, her ears as rigid as steel.
     "That's.... a bummer," Buster finally managed to say.
     Fifi gulped air for a few moments as she tried to calm her trembling
hands and tail.  "I zink.... I zink I should go find ze spot to lay zown and
try to compose ze mind, no?"
     Buster and Babs exchanged glances before nodding simultaneously.  "Yeah,
you're probably right," Buster replied.  "We should head over to my burrow for
a bit.  I should still have half a bottle of wine left over from some party.
I think it was that New Year's party, but don't quote me on that."
     Fifi nodded.  "Oui, ze wine sounds tres bien at ze moment.  Merci."
     Babs looked up at the sky and squinted.  The storm front was still neatly
cleaved in two, but the back edges of the storm were starting to curl away in
a strange pattern.  "Hmm, that storm may be down, but I don't think it's out
quite yet.  Looks like it might reform in a few hours."
     "And ze fog?" Fifi asked as she glanced over her shoulder.
     Buster chuckled.  "The fog's probably in Kansas right now, judging by the
force of that little breeze Babs kicked up with her turbine."
     "Oh, yeah, that thing," Babs said as she looked at the wind generator.
"We don't need it anymore, so I'll arrange to have it returned to the labs."
     "C'mon, guys, we're only a few minutes away from my place," Buster said
as he laid a hand on Fifi's shoulder.  "You gonna be alright, Fifi?"
     Fifi just shrugged helplessly.  "I zoo not have ze faintest clue, Bustair.
I zink I will be, but I cannot say for sure.  I would just like ze chance to
sit down and get ze grip."
     A smart-aleck reply popped into Buster's mind and he blinked.  Where did
that one come from? he wondered as he decided against speaking it aloud.  He
was used to wisecracks jumping into his mind, but the origins of that one was
definitely not along the usual lines of thought.
     The walk to the burrow was rather uneventful and, much to Fifi's relief,
at a rather slow and leisurely pace.  "Hey, is this a new place?" Babs asked
as she looked around the yard while Buster unlocked the door.  The burrow was
underground, of course, but the main entrance had been dug under a large tree
stump and a door installed to act as a protection against the elements.
     "I told you we were headed to my burrow," Buster replied as he opened the
door and stood aside to let Babs and Fifi in.  "My parents finally decided to
let me have my own place."
     "What?!" Babs said, the bows on her ears briefly popping off with shock.
"Buster Bunny, you mean to tell me you got your own place and didn't bother to
tell anyone about it?!"
     Buster gave her a hurtful look.  "Chill out, Babs, I've only had it for a
week or so.  I was planning on telling you guys once I had gotten all settled
in and everything."
     Fifi laughed.  "Ooo, eet sounds like Bustair has gotten himself ze little
love nest, oui?"
     Buster shook his head fast enough to rattle his eyeballs.  "Nonono, it's
nothing like that.  It's.... more like a private retreat.  You know, where you
can go to get away from everything?"
     Fifi moved close to him and gave him a knowing smile.  "And what zoo you
zink ze little love nest eez supposed to be like, hmm?" she purred.
     Babs just sighed and looked up at the still-dark sky.  "Don't you ever
give it a rest, Fifi?" she said wearily.
     Fifi threw her head back and laughed.  "But Babsie, you save ze rest for
after l'amour, not before!"
     Buster conked his head against the door.  "Just go in already," he said.
"Oh, and watch your step.  Haven't had a chance to put the rails on the stairs
yet."
     Fifi walked past him and into the burrow, pausing only long enough to run
a finger beneath his jaw before erupting into peals of laughter.  Babs just
sighed quietly and shook her head as she followed the skunk inside.  "Whoa..."
she said as she came to the staircase.  "How far down does this go?"
     "Not as far as it looks," Buster said as he closed the door and hit the
light switch.  A series of small lights lit up and shone on the stairwell.  A
massive tunnel had been dug straight down into the ground and the stairs wound
around the edges like a corkscrew.
     Fifi peered over the edge and whistled, listening to it echo briefly.
"Hmm... perhaps you should zink about putting ze bannister in ze center.  You
know, like ze firemen use to slide down."
     Buster blinked.  "Hey, that's a great idea, Fifi!"
     "Just don't forget the railing," Babs reminded him as they descended into
the ground, being very careful to stay away from the edges and the sheer drop
beyond.
     "How zid you build zis?" Fifi inquired.  "I mean no insult, but zis zoo
not look like ze work of ze professional digger."
     Buster grinned.  "No insult taken.  I took a mining pick and tipped the
points with synthetic diamond, then cut a deal with Taz.  If he dug the main
tunnel you see here, he could keep the pick."
     "Ahh," Babs said as she pictured the tazmanian devil whirling around at
just under the speed of sound and holding a tool sturdy enough to carve through
almost anything.  "So you gave him the pick and he just spun in place?"
     "Took all of half an hour," Buster said proudly.
     "Tres bien, I am impressed," Fifi said.  "Eef I was to live under ze
ground, I zink I would have to have ze little talk with you and Taz."
     Buster chuckled.  "Maybe.  I hear he's still coughing up dirt, and he's
not too thrilled about it.  Ahh, home sweet home," he said as they reached the
bottom of the stairwell.
     The burrow itself was, by Babs' standards, rather small, but she reminded
herself that she was used to living in a burrow that had to be massive enough
to accomodate a horde of siblings.  "Kinda cozy in here," she observed.
     Buster shrugged.  "I put in a few spare rooms for the occasional guest to
crash over, but it's not like I designed this with a family in mind."
     "Just you and ze little snug...?" Fifi tried to say before Babs clamped
her hand over her mouth.
     "Say 'snugglebunny' and I tie your tail in a French knot," Babs said with
a very dangerous edge to her voice.
     Fifi nodded and gasped for air when Babs removed her hand.  "I am sorry,
Babs, I zid not mean to upset you like zat...."
     Buster just shook his head.  "If I didn't know better, Babs, I'd say you
were jealous of something."
     "Well, who wouldn't want their own place?" Babs said.
     "I already have ze apartment," Fifi reminded her.  "But zere are ze times
when I wish I had ze company every now and zen."
     "Looks like you're the only one craving space, Babs.  The price of having
more brothers and sisters than you can fit in a wide-angle camera lens," he
quipped.
     "Very funny, Buster," Babs replied, her voice dripping acid.
     Buster just smiled.  "Go ahead and make yourselves at home," he said as
he gestured to the furniture, which consisted of a loveseat couch, a small
recliner that looked somewhat ancient, and a beanbag that had obviously seen
better days.
     "Where'd you get this stuff?" Babs said in wonder as she tenatively poked
at the recliner.
     "You'd be surprised what you can find at a yardsale," he said as he moved
into his somewhat cramped kitchen.  "You want anything to drink?"
     "You still have ze wine?" Fifi asked as she sat down on one end of the
small couch and tried to relax.
     Buster opened the refrigerator and stuck his head in.  "Yeah, still do.
How 'bout you, Babs?"
     Babs decided to take a chance and sat down in the recliner, breathing a
sigh of relief as it felt far more stable than it actually looked.  "Anything
worthwhile in there?"
     "Probably not, since I haven't done any serious shopping yet," he replied
as he dug further inside and pointedly ignored the mass of green fuzz that was
making faces at him.  "Umm, I have some of that soda Wakko introduced me to
when we had that exchange program...."
     Babs shivered.  "I saw his 'Great Wakkoratti' performance.  I'll pass."
     Fifi blinked.  "You saw ze Warner Brothers in ze concert?"
     "Yeah, it was something my mom thought we'd enjoy," Babs replied.
     "Aw, cool, I still have some cans of V-9 left," Buster called out as he
braced his feet against the door and leaned deeper into his refrigerator.
     Babs did a little math in her head and frowned.  "V-9, huh?  What did they
add to it this time?"
     Buster finally extracted himself from the depths of the 'fridge and had to
engage the green fuzz in a brief tug-of-war over the bottles.  He won after a
few seconds, but wound up landing hard on his already-sore backside.  "Ouch.
Umm, I'm not sure, and I didn't feel inclined to ask.  Been drinking it for
awhile, though, so it's not like it's lethal or anything."
     "Alright, I guess I can try it out," Babs said with a slight touch of
resignation in her voice.
     "Not up for ze adventure of trying somezing new?" Fifi said lightly.
     Babs gave her an odd look.  "After what we just went through?"
     Fifi blinked and looked down at the fur covering her chest, sighing softly
to herself has her thoughts turned back to her current crisis.  "Oui, I see
what you mean."
     "Cheer up, it could always be worse," Buster said as he walked back into
the den.  He had a half-empty bottle of wine and a wineglass in one hand and a
pair of bottled filled with a thick red fluid in the other.  He chucked one of
the bottles of V-9 into Babs' lap and set the other one down on a large, empty
spool of industrial cable that he had salvaged as a coffee table.
     "How you figure zat?" Fifi asked curiously as she watched Buster uncork
the bottle and pour some of the contents into the wineglass.  "Ooo, eet ez ze
Chateau Blanc.  Merci, mon amie."
     "Welcome," Buster replied as he handed her the glass and sat down at the
other end of the couch.
     "I am ze anatomically correct," Fifi said as she sipped at the wine, her
hand shaking ever so slightly.  "How could eet get worse?"
     "It could have been all of us instead of just you," he quipped as he
twisted the cap off of his bottle of juice.
     "Buster!" Babs scolded him.  "We're supposed to make her feel better in a
situation like this, not make her feel worse."
     Fifi chuckled softly.  "Eet eez alright, Babs.  Eet eez comforting to know
zat some zings remain ze same no matter what, like Bustair's sense of humor."
     "See?  Glad I could help," Buster said as he tossed his head back and
poured half the bottle straight down his throat.
     "His manners, however, seem to have left him," Babs observed as she took
an experimental sip of her V-9.  She discovered much to her delight that the
new blend of juices had included a higher content of carrot juice, although
there was one slight taste she couldn't immediately identify.
     Buster just shrugged.  "Hey, my kingdom, my rules," he said, punctuating
his words with a rather impressive belch.  "Oh, 'scuse me."
     "We'd be hard-pressed to find an excuse for you," Babs grumbled.
     "Zoo you mind eef I finish ze bottle?" Fifi asked as she gestured to the
bottle of white wine with her empty glass.
     Buster blinked.  "Sure, but you might want to slow down.  Don't need you
to get drunk on us or anything."
     Fifi shot him a cool look.  "I have been drinking ze wine for some time
now, Bustair.  I know where ze limit eez, and eet eez not in zis bottle."
     "Whoa, calm down, Fifi," Buster said as he held his hands up.
     Fifi sighed and poured herself another glass of wine before leaning back
against the couch.  "I am trying to," she said quietly as she sipped her wine.
"I zink I still am in ze state of shock."
     Babs finished her bottle of juice and twisted the cap back on.  "So how
are you feeling right now?"
     Fifi sighed and started running her free hand through the silky fur of
her tail.  "Eef you will forgive me, Babs, eet eez not somezing I care to talk
about right now.  Ze emotions are in ze chaos, and I zoo not zink I can say
which ones are which."
     "Hey, we understand," Buster said.
     Fifi shot him an unconvinced look.  "You say zat, but you cannot know what
eet eez like ahz you have not changed ahz I have."
     "So talk to us about it and we might learn something," Babs replied.  She
blinked at the look of restrained anger her words got in response.  "What?"
     "I am ze hopeless romantic as you say, but you zoo not understand how
closely related ze romance and ze physical passion are related," Fifi said
slowly, her voice tinged with faint bitterness.  "I have always desired to
have ze passionate romance in my life, but now with zis change there eez ze
added element of ze physical to it, and zat element eez ze far more dangerous
aspect of ze whole zing."
     Buster set his bottle down on the coffee table and silently cleared his
throat.  "I take it you've been doing a bit of extra-curricular studying with
Pepe about the subject?"
     Fifi nodded.  "Oui, we have studied ze human biology and psychology about
ze topics of romance and sexuality.  Eet eez very interesting work eef you have
ze open mind about such zings, but also not easy to zoo ahz ze humans are not
quite ze talkative type about ze subject."
     Buster nodded.  "So where does the danger part come in?"
     "In humans, zere eez zis zing called ze 'hormones'," Fifi explained as she
set the empty glass on the spool-turned-table.  "Zey exist in ze bloodstream
and have ze multitude of effects.  One of zem eez ze trigger for arousal, and
eet eez ze very, very strong reaction.  Strong enough, in fact, to cause one to
zink and act differently zan usual."
     "Sounds like drugs," Babs observed.
     "Oooh, eet eez far worse zan ze drugs on ze street," Fifi said as she 
shook her head.  "Your body always makes ze hormones, and zey zoo not go away.
Ze effects occur zepending on ze levels of ze hormones in ze blood.  Too much
and ze drive for ze physical intimacy kicks in, and eet eez ze living nightmare
to ignore until eet calms zown."
     Both bunnies blinked and briefly exchanged concerned glances before Babs
delicately cleared her throat.  "Umm, Fifi... you sound like you know just how
much of a hassle it is first-hand...." she ventured.
     "I zoo...." Fifi said quietly, then glanced at Buster.
     Buster blinked under the sudden scrutiny and shifted slightly in his seat.
"Whoa, why are you looking at me like that?  What did I do?"
     Fifi sat back and started to absently twist her tail with both hands.  "I
had you touch me to make sure I was not having ze hallucination, and ze touch
was.... ze experience I zoo not zink I will forget anytime in ze future."
     Babs blinked hard.  "So what makes you think you're developing hormones?
I thought that was a human thing."
     "I zought so too," Fifi sighed.  "But after what has happened to me, and
after how I felt after Bustair touched me...." she trailed off, shrugging
helplessly as words failed her.
     "So.... what did you feel?" Buster asked carefully, not entirely sure he
wanted to know but asking anyway.  Probably gonna regret this, he thought.
     Fifi shot him a look, her lavender eyes undreadable for the moment.  "Are
you sure you want to know?  I zoo not have ze desire to zestroy ze friendship
we share."
     Buster cringed slightly.  "Felt that bad, huh?"
     Fifi laughed very softly to herself and wrapped her arms around her tail,
burying her nose in the silky fur at the tip.  "Non, Bustair, just ze opposite.
Eet felt good.  Too good.  C'est la vie, no?  I zoo not zink I can explain eet
any more.  I should go home now," she said as she stood up.
     Babs perked her ears up.  "Hang on, Fifi, I think you should stay here for
a little while longer."
     Fifi shook her head.  "I am touched by your concern, Babs, but I find I
am not in ze mood for ze comfort."
     "I think you might not have a choice.  Buster, listen," she said with a
slight frown.
     Buster blinked and strained his ears.  He concentrated for a few moments
before he could hear a very, very faint noise, hovering just at the edge of his
range of hearing.  "Uh oh, tell me that's not what I think it is," he said as
he leapt off the couch and moved to the bookcase on the far wall.  He gripped
the edge of it and pulled it back, revealing a hidden room behind it.
     "What the heck is that?" Babs asked, the mysterious sound momentarily
forgotten.
     "Just a little something I put together," Buster replied nonchalantly as
he stepped over to a pipe that ran from the ceiling to the floor and pressed a
switch.  The pipe started to rise up slowly, revealing itself to be a type of
periscope.  On the surface, a slender lens slid up out of the ground and began
to slowly turn in place.
     Babs just shook her head.  "You can install a sophisticated periscope
system, but you can't even put a safety rail on a staircase?"
     "Matter of priorities," he replied with a grin as he turned the scope
around to look at the surface.  He reached a point and stopped.  "Oh, boy, do
we have a problem.  I think the fog is back."
     "So soon?" Fifi said as she sat up with a concerned look in her eyes.
     "Yup.  Apparently that storm wasted no time getting itself back together
again, and now it looks like it's back with a vengeance.  Look for yourself,"
he said as he stepped away from the scope and gestured.
     Babs quickly got up and moved over to the scope.  She placed her hands on
the handles and peered inside, squinting at what she saw.  "All I see is gray,
Buster."
     "So move it around," he said as he placed a hand over hers and pushed the
handle to the right.
     "Ohh, I get it.... Whoa, you're right, it is back.  And I think it looks
a little uglier, too."
     Buster nodded.  "Let's see how bad it's gonna rain," he said as he turned
his attention to a small control panel behind him.  He pushed a few buttons and
a radar display lit up.
     Babs blinked as she stepped away from the periscope.  "Now what?"
     "Doppler radar," he explained casually.  "I had the sensor built into the
top of the periscope mast."
     "Ze regular super-spy, no?" Fifi observed with a smile as she moved over
to stand in the doorway of Buster's hidden room.
     "Hey, I've been planning and saving for this one for years," he said with
pride as the radar beam started to sweep across the sky, making soft beeping
noises and painting a multi-colored picture on the scope.  "Oh, man, look at
all that red.  This storm's gonna be a doozy."
     Babs sighed.  "So between that spooky fog and the rain, I take it we're
going to be stuck here for awhile?"
     Buster shrugged helplessly.  "Hey, could be worse.  We could be stuck at
Plucky's house."
     "There's a cheerful image," Babs grumbled to herself.
     "Umm, Bustair?" Fifi said very slowly, the pitch of her voice climbing
higher with each word.  "I zink we have ze little problem...."
     Buster stuck his head out of the hidden room, saw where Fifi was pointing,
and stepped into the den to stick his head into the stairwell.  He glanced
around in momentary confusion before he felt a chill and looked up.
     The fog was slowly drifting down the tunnel.
     He frowned as he considered this development.  "I thought I closed the
door behind me."
     Babs moved up behind him and blinked.  "You did, because I remember you
closing it before hitting the light switch.  I don't suppose you have a door
to the stairwell you could close?"
     Buster shook his head.  "Nope, but I promise you that'll be the first item
on my list after we get through this.  Stand back," he said as he turned to his
right and got a solid grip on the bookcase.  Bracing himself, he heaved with
all his might in an attempt to rip it free from the hinges so he could jam it
against the doorway.
     The bookcase didn't move a fraction of an inch.
     "If this wasn't so serious, Buster, I'd laugh," Babs said nervously as she
started to back away from the stairwell and the mist decending into it.
     "Oh, man, where's my screwdriver?" Buster grumbled as he cast about for
his set of tools.  He blinked as he felt Fifi lay a hand on his shoulder and
press close to him.
     "Bustair," she purred very softly, "Seal off ze doorway now or else."
     Buster blinked hard and glanced at her out of the corner of his eye.  "Or
else what?" he asked very carefully as his fur began to spike.
     Fifi merely smiled in response and pointed her tail at him.  "Or else you
will have to worry more about ze smell zan ze fog," she said sweetly.  She
didn't bat an eyelash as the bookcase was neatly torn from the hinges and
slammed into place in the doorway at just under the speed of light.
     "I am impressed, Bustair," she cooed as she wrapped her tail around his
head, tickling his nose with the furry tip.  "I was not aware zat you had such
strength in you.  Amazing what you can zoo with ze proper motivation, no?"
     "Desperation does that to a person," Babs said as she tried to smooth her
fur back into place.  "For a moment, I was ready to yank it out of the wall
myself."  She blinked as she felt an odd warmth start to surge in her blood.
"Umm, it is just me, or did it suddenly get warm in here?"
     "It's not just you, Babs," Buster said slowly.  He wasn't sure what was
distracting him more, the tingling sensation in his arms, legs, and ears, or
the decidedly pleasant smell of Fifi's fur pressed up against him.
     Fifi blinked hard and looked at them.  "I zoo not feel any zifference in
ze temperature.  Wait.... you feel ze warmth in ze blood, no?"
     "Something like that," Babs said before her eyes went wide.  "Oh, no, you
don't think that we're...?"
     Everyone blinked at the sudden <ka-ching!> sound and Buster stood as still
as possible, his ears as rigid as stone and pointed in opposite directions.
Very slowly, he moved his hands down to his crotch and gently patted the mass
of fur there, trying to determine what was causing a slightly heavy feeling.
     "Oh, boy...." he said very softly.
     Fifi immediately unwrapped her tail and stepped back, her lavender eyes
wide.  "No, zoo not tell me you too have been cursed.... Babs, what about...?"
     <ka-ching!>
     Babs tried to move her lips, but it took her a few seconds to remember
exactly how to talk.  "Buster," she said very slowly.  "Can I go borrow your
bathroom for a moment?  I think I need to check on something."
     And somewhere in the grand scheme of things, someone smiled.

                *               *               *               *

     "D-d-down the hall, s-s-second door on your l-l-left," Buster stammered
as his brain tried to get a solid grip on events.  He already had a solid grip
on something else, though, and the feeling wasn't exactly helping him get his
mind together.  He knew about the 'hidden' anatomy of humans of course, despite
the fact that the subject wasn't mentioned or talked about in biology class at
the university.  After all, what teenager could resist a little indulging in
the occasional pursuit of forbidden knowledge?
     Fifi glanced up as a deathly-pale pink blur shot past her towards the
bathroom, then turned her attention back to Buster.  "You have made ze little
discovery, no?" she said softly.
     Buster swallowed hard.  "Discovery, yeah, but I'm not too sure about the
little part.  This ain't no fanny pack, I know that much.  I don't know what's
the story this time, but I don't think this is Steve's handiwork."
     "Oui, zis eez too wrong for zat," Fifi replied.  She thought very hard and
very carefully about the current situation, and about what, if anything, should
be done about it.  The intellectual side of her mind was momentarily overloaded
and drawing a blank, but the emotional side of her was telling her more things
than she could handle.  The one emotion that seemed most prominent, however,
was her sense of curiosity.
     "Bustair...." she said quietly after a moment's consideration about just
how wise her decision was and the possible consequences.  "Let me see what ze
matter eez."
     Buster blinked hard, not sure if he had heard her correctly.  "Whoa, hold
the phone, Fifi...." he started to say.
     She placed a hand on his shoulder.  "I had you check to make sure I was
not having ze bad dream," she said softly.  "I would like to return ze favor,
mon amie, to make sure you are not having ze daydream either."
     "If this is a daydream, Fifi, you're more than welcome to whack me in the
arm to wake me up," Buster replied, still keeping both hands on his crotch.
     Fifi sighed and looped her tail around his neck, pulling him towards her
until they were almost nose-to-nose.  "How about ze blast of ze musk?" she said
evenly as she looked into his eyes.
     Buster gulped.  "You know, you've gotten rather tempermental as of late."
     She just smiled sweetly at him.  "Eet eez probably just ze hormones and ze
usual lack of patience," she cooed softly.  "However, zat eez not why I wish to
see for myself, Bustair."
     "I'm all ears," Buster quipped as he waggled his ears.
     Fifi giggled and rubbed her nose against his.  "Ever ze sense of humor,"
she purred.  "Zat eez why I like you so much, Bustair.  You make me laugh."
     Buster shrugged.  "It's a toon thing," he said.  Her extreme closeness was
starting to make him light-headed for some reason and the weighty feeling in
his hands was getting heavier.  Oh, boy, now what? he wondered.
     "But what I'm looking for now eez zefinitely not ze toon zing," she said
quietly as she slid her hand off his shoulder and placed it over his hands.
     Buster felt the fur along his spine start to spike.  "Umm, Fifi...."
     "I am not sure I can explain," she said, her voice barely a whisper.
"Zere eez ze too much to zink about at ze moment, but I would like to know for
myself eef you are ze anatomically correct like moi."
     "Take my word for it?" he suggested as his voice started to waver.
      Fifi sighed quietly.  "You zoo not trust me, zen?"
      "Did you feel like trusting your own body at first?" he replied.
      She blinked and thought about his words for a moment.  "Touche, mon
amie," she said with a soft smile.  "However, I zid not know what had happened.
But now zat we both know.... I zink we can trust each other, no?" she said as
she slid her hand beneath his.
     Buster blinked hard and his ears promptly kinked in bizarre angles at her
light touch.  "Whoa!  Ah hah hah ha, that tickles, ah hah ah.... hah.... ah....
haaaaaaaaaahhhhh...." he sighed as nerves he never knew he even had suddenly
came to life, delivering a decidedly pleasant feeling to his brain.
     Fifi leaned back slightly to look down.  "Interessant.  Ze skin eez pink,
not ze blue.  And soft to ze touch."
     "Speaking of touches," Buster gasped in a mild state of ecstacy, "You seem
to have a nice touch yourself."
     Fifi leaned forward and purred in his ear.  "Now you know what you zid to
me," she said in a sultry tone as she gave him a very gentle squeeze before
letting him to and taking a step back.
     Buster almost fell to the floor.  "You know..." he said slowly as he
clutched the bookcase for support, "I think I know what you mean about these
things being dangerous."
     "Oh?" Fifi said as she lifted her eyebrows, a faint smile tugging on her
lips.  "Would you care to explain?"
     Buster shook his head to clear out the mental cobwebs.  "For a moment, I
didn't want you to stop."  He shivered lightly as she laughed softly, a rather
low-pitched and delicate sound that seemed to electrify the hair on his ears.
     "You zoo not understand ze full situation, Bustair, but I am glad zat you
are starting to learn," she said as she leaned forward and gave him a quite
unexpected kiss on his cheek.  "Now you should go and find ze pair of pants for
zat.  I mean no offense, Bustair, but ze fur eez not enough to hide ze little
surprise, and I zink zat we zoo not need to have ze open reminder, oui?"
     Buster nodded.  "Yeah, I know what you mean," he said with a faint grin.
He turned around and headed towards his bedroom, pausing for a moment at the
end of the hallway.  "Hey, I just thought of something," he said.
     Fifi looked over at him.  "Oui?"
     "I don't think this is what they meant when people talk about hanging out
with your friends," he quipped with a smile.
     "You are ze rogue!" Fifi said, laughing hard at the pun.
     "Anytime," Buster replied before he ducked into his room and closed the
door behind him.
     Fifi turned her attention to the rows of books in the relocated bookcase,
still quietly chuckling to herself.  Ze rogue indeed, she thought to herself
as she began reading book titles, but such ze charmant ahz well.  Mon dieu, I
zid not know he had such ze collection!
     She heard a door open and turned to watch as an obviously depressed Babs
walked into the room.  "Hey, Fifi, did I join the military or something?" she
asked as she ploped down in the recliner with a heavy sigh.
     Fifi blinked.  "Ze military?  Not zat I know of.  Why zoo you ask?"
     Babs laughed, an empty sound without a trace of humor.  "Because it looks
like I got issued a full set of personal equipment," she replied dryly.
     Fifi smiled and stood at attention, tossing off a crisp military salute
to Babs.  "Zen join ze legion of ze anatomically correct, no?"
     Babs shot her a sidelong look.  "You seem to be in good spirits all of a
sudden, considering the fact that we just got reverse-neutered."
     Fifi just shrugged helplessly.  "Ahz you said, I am ze hopeless romantic.
I also am ze quick learner, so I am getting used to zis change."
     "Good, so you can explain to me what I'm supposed to do with these," Babs
replied as she gestured to the bulges in her sweater.
     Fifi smiled coyly.  "Vous?  Not ze zing.  Zat eez your lover's concern
about what to zoo with zem."
     Babs slowly raised an eyebrow.  "And if I don't have one?" she said, a
faint edge creeping into her tone.
     "Zen you are out of ze luck ahz most of ze unmatched romantics have been
since ze dawn of time," Fifi replied with a laugh.
     "Great, so I get to mope around all day and wish for love like you?" Babs
replied evenly.  "Sorry if I don't start doing cartwheels with joy."
     Fifi blinked as the barb hit a minor nerve and stung.  "Babs, I sense ze
note of bitterness...."
     "Besides," Buster said as he stepped into the room wearing a pair of light
gray sweatpants in addition to his customary red t-shirt.  "There's not enough
room in here, and if you did start doing cartwheels, your skirt would fall down
again."
     "And under ze circumstances, zat would probably not be ze good idea," Fifi
added cautiously, still trying to figure out the severity of Babs' mood.
     Babs just sighed and rubbed her eyes.  "Yeah, yeah, I know."  She froze in
mid-motion and lifted her head up, looking Fifi up and down.  "Just be glad
you have a lot of puffy fur to hide everything.  I've got both fur and a thick
sweater on, and I still can't keep them completely hidden."
     Fifi shrugged.  "C'est la vie," she said, noticing the sidelong look she
was getting from Buster as he eyed her lavender fur.  The only noticible change
was a very faint swell in the fur on her chest, and that was only visible if
one knew where to look and what to look for.
     She swished her tail suggestively and he glanced away, a pair of faint red
spots forming on his cheeks.  Babs saw the exchange between them and narrowed
her eyes, not exactly sure what to make of it and not liking it very much.
     "So now what?" Buster said as he took a few steps and rather gracelessly
sprawled out in the beanbag.  The bag bulged alarmingly at first and gave the
impression that it was moments away from spewing its contents everywhere, but
soon settled down as Buster squirmed slightly to get more comfortable.
     "Tell me where you found ze library, Bustair," Fifi said as she turned
around to resume reading the titles of the books in the bookcase.
     "Oh, those," Buster said with a dismissing wave of his hand.  "I got them
with the bookcase when I was at some yardsale last time I visited Wakko.  Some
fat toon cop had collected them and was selling the whole set at a rather good
price."
     "I thought you hated to read," Babs said.
     Buster shrugged.  "I do.  I just thought that the bookcase would make an
appropriate door for my periscope room.  The books were just a nice bonus."
     Fifi shook her head.  "You zoo not realize what ze collection you have
here.  Copies of ze original 'Sinbad ze Pirate', 'Ze Trois Muskeeters', 'Ze
Hunchback of Notre Dame'...."
     "Nice Disney movie," Buster joked.
     "Have you no culture?" Babs sighed.
     "I had a throat culture done last month...."
     "You're utterly hopeless, Buster."
     "'Ze Sword een ze Stone', 'Ze Complete Works of Sherlock Holmes', 'Ze
Mutiny on ze Bounty'.... Ooh la la, ze original 'Zousand and One Arabian
Nights'!" Fifi exclaimed with delight.
     Buster shrugged.  "I told you, Feef, it's wallpaper as far as I care.  If
you want to grab a book or two, go ahead."
     "Have you not heard of ze stories of Scheherazade?" Fifi said, her accent
seriously mangling the pronounciation.  "Sacre bleu, you are ze barbarian!  Ze
tales she told to satisfy ze sultan and to preserve ze life, each one ze more
and more captivating, telling ze stories of ze ancient past, ze heroism, ze
lives and deaths of countless nobles, and of course ze stories about...."
     "Romance," Buster and Babs said simultaneously.
     Fifi blinked.  "I zought you said you had not read ze book," she said.
     Buster sighed while Babs just buried her face in her hands.  "Some things
are just kinda obvious," Buster explained.
     Fifi thought about it for a moment before she shrugged.  "Eef you say so,
Bustair.  You zoo not mind if I borrow ze book and ze couch for awhile?"
     Buster shrugged.  "Hey, knock yourself out."
     "Merci," Fifi replied as she walked over and gave him a hug before she sat
down on the couch, opened the book to a random chapter, and proceeded to tune
out the rest of the world.
     "You know, Babs, for someone with pink fur, you look like you're starting
to turn just a little green," Buster observed as a tiny wisp of steam jumped up
from the top of Babs' head and vanished.
     "I don't know what you're talking about," she said flatly and turned her
head away.
     Buster blinked.  "Hey, c'mon, Babs, what's bugging you?"
     "Oh, nothing," Babs said with an airy wave of her hand.  "Just the tiny,
inconsequential matter of suddenly having a few odds and ends that weren't
there when I woke up this morning."
     "I can't tell from here, but your end looks fine to me," Buster quipped
with a grin.  He yelped and dove for cover as a pillow came screaming out of
nowhere and narrowly avoided nailing him in the head.  "Yo, Babs, calm down, I
was just making a joke."
     "That's what's upsetting me so much," Babs fumed.  "None of this is even
remotely funny!  How would you like it to have these.... these...."
     "Melons?" Buster suggested.
     "THINGS hanging off of your chest?" Babs finished.  "They might look okay
on a human, but I'm a cartoon!  I shouldn't have these, and besides, all this
excess weight is giving me a back cramp."
     "Hang on, I got some tylenol in the cabinet," Buster said as he got up to
move into the kitchen, only to duck back down behind the beanbag as another
pillow went zooming past him.  "Chill, Barbara, it's not like you're the only
one with a little extra hanging on for a ride," he said.
     "WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!" Babs demanded, her eyes turning blood red and
her face turning demonic.  She didn't wait for a response before she jumped to
her feet and launched herself at him like a Tomahawk cruise missile.
     Fifi was oblivious to the cloud of dust and the odd body part that stuck
out of it's depths that denoted a typical cartoon fight.  She sighed softly to
herself with longing as she read a particularly heart-rending tale about the
pain of unrequited love, and the fiery passion that results when such love is
finally satisfied.
     She had just finished that chapter and was ready to start another one when
she heard Babs yell "HIIIIYAAAH!", followed by the sound of a gong being rung.
She looked up to see Buster on his knees, his hands clutching his crotch and
his eyes the size of small blimps.  Babs was standing over him with a slightly
pained look on her face and gently flexing her toes.
     And somewhere in the grand scheme of things, someone winced.

                *               *               *               *

     Fifi blinked.  "Bustair, are you alright?" she asked in concern.
     "Eeeeeeeep...." Buster whimpered, his voice four full octaves higher than
his usual tone.
     Fifi sighed and buried her face in her hands.  "Ohh, Babsie, how could you
zoo zat to him?"
     Babs frowned and looked down at the still-prostate blue bunny.  "What now?
This is hardly the first time I've kicked him like that before."
     "Oui, but not when he eez ze anatomically correct," Fifi reminded her.
     Babs winced.  "Ouch, I guess that explains what my toes hit."
     Fifi sighed and set the book aside before she stood up and crossed over
to where Buster was kneeling.  "Can you speak, Bustair?"
     "Yeeeeeeeeeeeep...." he whimpered.  His eyes had returned to normal size
but his ears were still as rigid as steel and kinked in odd directions.
     "I get ze ice pack," Fifi sighed as she stood up and brushed past Babs to
get to the freezer.  She opened the door, blinked at what she found inside, and
gently closed the door without comment.
     The freezer door banged open and an irritated penguin stuck his head out.
"Whaaaaaat?" he demanded.  "Can't you see I'm busy?"
     Fifi blinked.  "I zid not mean to bother you.  I just wanted ze ice pack,"
she said very slowly.
     The penguin blinked and peered closer at her.  Then he shook his head and
leaned down to look out from under the bottom of the freezer door.  "Yo, blue
boy, who's the French chick?"
     "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-hah," Buster gasped as he staggered to his feet, his
hands still clamped around his crotch.
     "Whoa, are you in a bad way," the penguin commented.  "You really ought
to take it easy with her, my boy.  Those French squirrels are hot-blooded
enough to melt through the sheet ice over the South Pole, and they pack more
endurance than a Boston Marathon runner."  He ducked back inside for a moment
and a bright blue pack of frozen gel flew out, smacking Fifi squarely in the
stomach.
     "Ah.... zank you," Fifi said as she fumbled with the ice pack.  "I zink."
     "Go easy on him next time, eh?" the penguin replied.  "I kinda like him.
Just play nice and don't do anything I wouldn't do.  Toodles," he said as the
freezer door slammed shut behind him.
     "I'm not going to ask," Babs said slowly.
     "He owns the refrigerator," Buster gasped as he straighted up.  "We cut a
deal: I let him stay plugged in to the outlet to keep it cool up there, and he
lets me use the rest of the 'fridge."
     Babs just shook her head.  "Any other roomies we should know about?"
     "Dmitri's under the sink," Buster replied as he leaned against the wall
and tried to stand up straight.  "He handles most of the garbage disposal."
     "Here," Fifi said as she handed him the ice pack.
     "Thanks," he replied as he stuffed the bag of frozen blue gel down the
front of his sweatpants.  "YYYYYYYYIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE, that's cold!!"
     "Eet should get numb in ze few moments," Fifi said as she brushed his leg
with her tail.  "Unfortunately, ze boys are very sensitive down zere."
     "I've noticed," Buster gasped as he gave up trying to stand up straight
and doubled over.
     Babs finally let her curiosity get the better of her and gently knocked
on the cabinet door beneath the sink.  Something inside started to make a
rustling noise before the door creaked open and a goat stuck his head out.
"Wha-a-a-a-t?" he bleated at her, chewing on what looked to be like a tin can.
     "Oh, I'm just saying hi," Babs said weakly.
     The goat just looked at her while it finished eating the can.  He craned
his neck out further and looked up over the top of the cabinet door.  "Hey,
Bu-u-u-u-ster, I tho-o-o-o-ught you said no-o-o-o women."
     Buster gingerly sat down, grunting as both his backside and his crotch
protested the manuever.  "Relax, D, they're just visiting for awhile."
     "Ju-u-u-u-st che-e-e-e-cking," Dmitri bleated before he glanced back at
Babs, snorted distainfully, and retreated back into the depths of the cabinet,
closing the door behind him.
     Fifi cleared her throat.  "Eet ez, how you say, ze motley crew, no?"
     "Frank and Dmitri are good friends," Buster protested.  "Yeah, they're not
all that social and usually keep to themselves, but we get along well enough
when they come out to talk every now and then.  How's the foot, Babs?"
     Babs smirked and wriggled her toes.  "It kinda hurts, but I'm in a lot
better shape than you.  You stuff a rock in your pants or something?"
     Buster smiled weakly.  "Something like that, but it wasn't a rock."
     Fifi coughed delicately.  "I zink we should change ze topic before eet
goes down ze hill, no?  Are you going to be alright, Bustair?"
     "Maybe," Buster admitted with a shrug.  "At least it doesn't feel like
its going to explode or fall off anymore."
     Babs tilted her head to one side.  "And having it fall off would be a bad
thing?" she asked with a faint smile.
     "Well, to tell you the truth, Babs, I've kinda gotten attached to it,"
Buster replied with a grin.  He blinked as he heard a heavy thunking sound and
reached up to pat Fifi's arm.  "Cheer up."
     "You are ze incorrigable rogue," Fifi sighed as she banged her head on the
wall a few more times.
     Buster smirked.  "You still like me, though."
     Fifi glanced at him.  "Zon't remind me," she said with a soft smile.
     "I'll try not to," Buster replied as he tried again to stand up straight,
this time with far greater success.  "Boy, Babs, either you've been working
out at the gym or this new anatomy is unbelievably soft."
     Babs wrinked her nose.  "Probably both.  I've been doing a lot of running
with Calamity after school, but nothing too strenuous."
     Fifi raised an eyebrow.  "With ze coyote or after ze coyote?  I seem to
remember ze little incident at ze pool not too long ago."
     Babs just waved her hand.  "Oh, that.  I got even with him already for
stealing my towel, but I discovered just how good of a running partner he was.
Always managed to stay just beyond my fingertips, and that went on for miles."
     "Going out for the track team?" Buster said as he fished the now-liquid
gel pack out of his sweatpants and took a few experimental steps.
     Babs shrugged.  "Thinking about it."
     "Hey, if you can give Beeper a run for his money, I say go for it," Buster
replied as he slowly made his way over to the freezer and opened the door.
"Hey, Frank, just wanted to return this," he said as he pitched the ice pack
inside.
     The penguin stuck his head outside and smirked.  "No problem, man.  Like
I said, just be careful with her," he said as he gestured towards Babs.  He
blinked when he realized he was seeing pink and not purple.  "Hey, wait a sec,
didn't you just have a French squirrel up in this joint?"
     "Fifi's over there," Buster said as he pointed.
     "What, you got two of 'em?" Frank asked as he poked his head around the
corner and looked at Fifi.  "I'm impressed.  You gotta teach me your secret."
     Buster swallowed as he saw the we-are-not-amused look on Fifi's face and
the glacial expresson on Babs'.  "It's not what you think...."
     "Who cares what I think?  Go enjoy yourself, my boy.  Just take it nice
and slow, and try not to let Dmitri hear you guys.  Cheers," Frank said with a
wave before the freezer door slammed shut.
     A small storm cloud promptly formed over Babs' head and started to rumble
with barely-contained lightning.  She gritted her teeth and fairly stomped back
into the den, flinging herself into the recliner and crossing her arms.
     "I don't think she took that well," Buster observed.
     "I cannot imagine why," Fifi said dryly, still mildly upset herself.
     "What?" Buster said in confusion.  "I didn't say anything!"
     Fifi shrugged.  "You zidn't have to," she replied as she started to walk
back towards the den.
     "What?" he repeated.  "Hey, Fifi, what's wrong?" he said as he grabbed
her wrist.  "We're friends, you know nothing like that's ever gonna happen."
     He was caught completely off-guard as she suddenly whirled around and gave
him a passionate kiss, pressing him against the wall and molding her body to
his.  The fur on his ears immediately began to tingle and his heart threatened
to either quit beating or explode in his chest.  He felt her new softness press
against him, felt his nose tingle delightfully at the smell of her fur in close
quarters, and above all, felt the weighty feeling in his pants grow heavier.
     "Are you sure, Bustair?" she said what seemed to be an eternity later when
she broke the kiss and stepped back.  She spun around without another word and
returned to the couch, sat down, poured herself another glass of wine, picked
up the book she had been reading, and quickly lost herself in the stories.
     Buster glanced up to see Babs looking at him with a deeply hurt look on
her face.  She quickly turned around and curled up into a ball on the recliner,
wrapping her ears around her head and hoping that no one could see the tears.
     And somewhere in the grand scheme of things, someone shook their head.

                *               *               *               *

     Buster wasn't quite sure what to do.  Fifi was thousands of miles away,
lost in her own little world of Scheherazade, 16th centry Arabia, and romance.
Babs was curled up in a tight pink ball and showed no signs of wanting to come
out and talk to anybody about anything.  He was about to ask himself if things
could get any worse when he heard a low rumble at the edge of his hearing.
     Oh, boy, he thought as he walked over to the room of electronic gadgets
he had saved virtually all of his money for.  He glanced over at the doppler
radar display and sighed at the solid mass of red color in the center.  That
might be it, he thought as he grabbed the handles of the still-raised periscope
and peered out at the world up above.
     That's a lot of rain, he thought sourly as he tried to look through the
wall of falling moisture.  Puddles where everywhere and his 'yard' was little
more than a giant mud field.  Remind me to warn the girls about that before
they head up there when they leave, he thought to himself.  He was nearly
blinded as a bolt of lightning arced through the sky, soon followed by a very
soft rumble that he could both feel and hear.
     Looks nasty out there, he thought as he rotated the scope around to get a
360-degree view of things.  Clouds covered as much of the sky as he was able
to see, which wasn't all that much due to the amount of rain coming down.  The
only good thing about the rain that he could think of was that it had dispersed
the spooky fog that had chased them all the way from Shirley's house.
     Another bolt of lightning flashed across the sky and he turned away from
the periscope, blinking his eyes rapidly to clear the purplish afterimage.  He
thought the purple was starting to change to pink when he realized that he was
seeing Babs standing in the doorway.
     "So what's it look like?" she asked quietly.
     Buster shook his head.  "Good news is that fog is history.  The bad news
is that everything is wetter than a fish's butt and muddier than a pig farm."
     "There's a pleasant image," Babs said sourly as she brushed past him and
peered into the periscope.  "Eww...."
     "Told ya," Buster replied with a shrug.
     "Anyway, I'm gonna go home," Babs said as she stepped away from the scope
and walked towards the bookcase blocking the doorway to the stairwell.
     Buster blinked hard.  "You gotta be kidding, Babs, you just saw what it's
like up there."
     "And?" she grunted as she braced herself and tried to slide the bookcase
out of the way.  It was definitely heavier than it looked and refused to move,
despite her best efforts.  "Why'd you have to make this thing so heavy?"
     "It was like that when I bought it," he replied.  "Babs, what's wrong?"
     Babs sighed and leaned against the bookcase for support.  She glanced at
the still-engrossed Fifi out of the corner of her eye before she softly said,
"I don't want to stick around if I'm interrupting you and Fifi."
     Buster blinked again.  "Babs, what are you talking about?"
     She glared at him.  "I think you know what I'm talking about."
     He shook his head and grabbed her arm, gently pulling her into the small
electronic room.  "Babs, listen to me," he said in a quiet voice, "I don't know
what she was thinking when she kissed me, alright?  Like I was telling her when
she got upset over what Frank said, we're just friends."
     Babs looked up at him.  "Just friends?" she echoed.
     Buster nodded.  "Of course.  C'mon, Babs, you know me.  We're friends,
just like you and I have been since we learned how to walk."
     She sighed quietly and looked away, the insides of her ears turning half
a shade darker than usual.  "Promise me one thing, Buster," she said very
softly in a tone he couldn't remember hearing from her before.
     "What's that?"
     "Don't ever abandon me," she said as she suddenly wrapped him in a tight
hug, burying her face in his shoulder.
     Buster blinked, not even remotely prepared for something like this.  He
put his arms around her shoulders and returned the hug.  "Sure thing, Babs,"
he said carefully, wondering where her request had come from.
     She sighed quietly and tightened her embrace, causing him to wince at the
crushing pressures his body was suddenly subjected to.  He began to realize
that he could feel a certain softness pressed up against him, much like he had
felt Fifi's when she had kissed him.
     Maybe there's something to be said for those things after all, he thought
as he tried to take a deep breath.  That caused his chest to expand slightly
and push harder against her chest.  He blinked as he felt a faint tremor run
through her body and she made a soft noise that he felt on his shoulder more
than he heard in his ear.
     He mentally blinked as he realized that the weighty feeling in his pants,
largely forgotten since Fifi's kiss, suddenly surged into his mind and he felt
it become even heavier.  You know, I might have to break down and ask Fifi
about what this thing is doing, he thought to himself.  I just hope it doesn't
have to do with those hormone things she was talking about.
     He thought about Fifi for a moment before he decided to try an experiment
and took a subtle whiff of Babs' fur.  It was rather heavily laced with the
type of perfume she wore on occasion, but beyond that he thought he was able
to detect a very light and airy scent that he couldn't identify.  It was a
little like Fifi's natural scent, but not quite as strong because of the thick
smell of the perfume.
     He mentally blinked as he realized his body was starting to react to that
smell.  The weighty feeling had just about doubled what it was before, and now
he began to feel a faint sense of pressure building up.  Uh oh, he thought, I
think it just might be hormones after all.  Man, what gives?
     "Zon't you zink ze bed or ze couch would be more comfortable for l'amour?
Fifi said in a rather husky tone from the doorway, a knowing smile on her lips.
     Babs immediately let go of Buster and whirled around, promptly clocking
herself against the metal shaft of the periscope.  She staggered back and fell
into Buster's arms, gasping in surprise as he tried to keep her from falling
and wound up grabbing the softness of her chest.  A tingle of pure pleasure
shot through her and it was all she could do to keep herself from moaning.
     Fifi blinked.  "Woo, I zink I go find ze empty room and leave you alone.
Eet looks like you are not in ze mood for ze patience."
     "It's not what you think," Buster started to say.
     Babs shot out of his arms like a rocket, lost her balance, and plowed into
Fifi.  They fell into the floor in a tangle of arms and legs, and when the
world quit spinning Babs found herself lying on top of Fifi and practically
nose-to-nose.
     "Goodness," Fifi cooed.  "I knew we were ze good friends, Babsie, but I
zid not zink you wanted it to be zis good," she said as she rubbed noses with
the still-stunned pink bunny.
     Buster quickly yanked Babs to her feet before she could slip into full
panic mode and go ballistic.  "Get a grip, Babs, before you smack into anything
else.  You alright?" he asked as he held his other hand out to Fifi.
     "Oui, I was just unprepared for such ze welcome," she replied as she took
his hand and got up off the ground.  She quickly dusted herself off and gave
both bunnies an apologetic look.  "I zid not mean to interrupt you two."
     Buster shrugged.  "As far as I could tell, it was just a conversation."
     Fifi blinked and cast a suspicious glance at Babs.  "And you zink it was
ze little talk too, Babs, or zid you have more on ze mind at ze time?"
     Babs blinked.  "Well.... I, uh.... to be honest here.... I'm not sure."
     "I zink we all need to sit down and have ze meeting of ze minds," Fifi
said with a quiet sigh as she wrapped her tail around Buster's waist and put a
hand on Babs' shoulder, steering them both out of the cramped periscope room
and towards the den.
     "What gives?" Buster asked.
     "I zink we are being affected by ze hormones," Fifi explained.  "And eef
we zoo not explain ze feelings to one another, eet might destroy ze friendships
we currently enjoy.  Sit," she said as she flicked her tail towards the couch,
practically catapulting Buster into it.
     Babs sighed as she sat down in the recliner and curled up in a ball.  "So
what is there to talk about?"
     "How zoo you feel about ze changes to your body?" Fifi inquired as she sat
down on the other end of the couch.  "Zat goes for ze both of you."
     Buster shrugged.  "It feels like I've got a banana in my pants."
     "Be lucky that's all you're toting around," Babs grumbled.
     "I know, I know, I'm just saying I feel a noticable weight, that's all."
     Fifi cleared her throat delicately.  "Eez eet ze constant weight, Bustair,
or does ze weight change with ze mood?" she asked carefully.
     Buster blinked.  "Well.... it does kinda feel heavier at times."
     "Like when I kissed you, or when you and Babs were in ze tight quarters?"
Fifi observed neutrally.  "I zoo not mean to embarass you, Bustair, I am merely
trying to help you see when ze feeling changes."
     "Funny you should mention that," he replied as he scratched his head and
avoided looking at Babs.  "That's precisely when the feeling changed."
     Fifi nodded.  "Zat eez ze sign of ze hormones affecting you.  And what
about you, Babs?  Have you noticed ze changes too?"
     Babs sighed.  "I have no idea, Fifi.  With things going on like this, it's
hard to say what's this and what's that.  It's not like they came with an
instruction book or anything."
     Fifi blinked and ran her tongue around the edges of her lips nervously.
"Well.... zat zepends on ze zefinition of what makes ze instruction book," she
said slowly.
     Buster frowned.  "You seem to know more about this sort of stuff than we
do, Fifi.  If you know of a book or whatever that can help, tell us."
     "I can show you ze book eef you like," Fifi said as she stood up and moved
over to the bookcase.
     "No," Babs said softly as she stared at the bookcase, shaking her head.
"A book that we need just happens to be there?  That would be too cruel."
     Buster spread his hands in a gesture of surrender.  "Hey, I already told
you, I have no idea what's up there."
     "You have ze copy of zis," Fifi said as she held up a rather old-looking
book.  "Eet eez called ze 'Kama Sutra'."  She blinked as she heard a heavy
thunking sound and looked up from the book's cover.  "Babs, are you feeling
alright?"
     "Me?  I'm fine," Babs said mock-cheerfully.  "I'm just having a hard time
accepting the sheer coincidence of all of this."
     Buster shook his head.  "Coincidence?  I don't believe that for a moment,
Babsie.  Just between the three of us, I think someone pulled a fast one on old
Stevie and is tinkering with a script."
     Fifi shrugged.  "Be zat ahz eet may, we still have to zeal with ze current
problem of ze anatomy.  And I zink zis book will help," she said as she sat
down next to Buster and opened the cover to a random page.
     Buster's eyes promptly doubled in size.  "WHOA!" he yelped as his hands
darted to his crotch.
     "Zen again, I could be wrong...." Fifi squeaked as she gawked at the open
book.  The text was in rather small print and required an effort to decipher,
but the full-color illustrations needed no interpretation.  "Sacre bleu, I had
no idea zat zere were so many.... unique ways for l'amour."
     Babs couldn't see the book from where she was sitting and wasn't exactly
encouraged to try to.  "You guys alright?" she asked warily.
     Buster shook his head.  "You gotta come see this for yourself, Babs.  It's
an instruction book about anatomy, alright, but it's more along the lines of
what can be done with it.  Oh, man, that looks like it'd hurt."
     Fifi giggled.  "Only eef she eez not careful about ze teeth."
     Babs sighed quietly and reluctantly got up out of the recliner.  She took
a few steps forward and sat down on the edge of the loveseat, craning her head
over Fifi's shoulder to look.  She glanced at the page, did a double-take, and
nearly fell into Fifi's lap with shock.
     "That's what I said," Buster said as Babs made a gasping-for-air noise.
     "And this is what the anatomically correct do for fun, huh?" Babs said in
a voice as flat as paved concrete.
     "I would suppose so," Fifi said as she turned the pages until she found
the next illustration.  "Ahh, now zis eez what l'amour should be like."
     Buster leaned over slightly to get a better look, his hand still covering
his crotch.  "Nice bedroom.  Got enough pillows?"
     Fifi shot him a not-quite-amused glance.  "Eet helps to have ze soft place
for ze intimacy.  Easier on ze body zat way."
     Babs frowned.  "Okay, I'll admit it, I haven't studied the topic too much.
Is that how it's supposed to be done?"
     "Oui," Fifi replied with a nod.  "At least, zat eez what I unzerstand.
Eet eez not important who eez on ze top and who eez on ze bottom, just ahz long
ahz ze lovers can accomplish l'amour like zat."
     "Wait a second," Buster said slowly.  "You mean this bonus I've got is
supposed to go.... in there?"
     Fifi gave him an odd look.  "You zid not know zat?"
     He shrugged, his hands never straying from his crotch.  "Hey, all I could
learn was what they were called.  I never found out what they did with them."
     "One moment," Fifi replied as she flipped the book to the first chapter
and quickly thumbed through the pictures.  "Ah, I zought so.  Always start with
ze basics, no?" she said as she found what she was looking for.
     It was a simple series of pictures and drawings depicting the human body
in as much detail as possible.  Cursory examination was given to the usual
parts, such as heads, arms, legs, and backs, but it seemed that the pictures
focused more on the anatomy specific to each gender.
     Babs cleared her throat.  "Well, at least this stuff is the right shape
and size," she said slowly.
     Fifi shrugged.  "I zink I am ahz well, but I zid not stop to check in ze
mirror.  Nor has Bustair, but I can say zat he looks to have ze right idea,"
she added with a meaningful look at him.
     Buster blinked and gulped nervously.  "What?"
     Babs frowned.  "Problem with your pants?"
     "Well, not with the pants so much as what's in them," Buster admitted, the
insides of his ears turning red.  "Things are kinda feeling heavy again."
     Fifi flipped the page and blinked.  "You mean like zis?" she said as she
showed him a picture of a fully aroused human male.
     Buster blinked again and glanced down at his hands.  "Well, maybe not like
that, but I think it's getting there."
     "So once he gets all hard like that, he's ready to go?" Babs asked, more
than slightly repulsed by the raw mechanics of sex but admittedly curious about
the biology behind it.
     Fifi skimmed the text accompanying the picture.  "Oui," she said after a
moment.  "Ze man eez, but not ze woman.  According to zis, ze woman needs far
more time to get ze body ready."
     "So how does she react?" Babs inquired.
     Fifi glanced up and looked at her.  "How zoo you zink?" she asked softly.
"Or zid you not find Bustair's touch in ze cozy room to be ze experience?"  She
waited while Babs blushed, glanced at Buster, and blushed harder.  "You got ze
itch in ze chest, no?"
     "You could say that," Babs said as she looked away, the inside of her pink
ears a solid red color.
     "And ze fur around ze love nest got ze little wet, no?" Fifi said.  "Zat
wetness, according to ze book, eez to make ze man's job easier when bringing
ze bodies together."
     "Huh," Buster said.  "And I always thought women tried to make things as
hard for us guys as possible," he quipped.
     Fifi chuckled.  "Perhaps, Bustair, but I zink in zis case, you are making
ze zings hard enough for yourself, no?" she said coyly as she brushed her tail
against his leg.
     Buster blinked hard.  "Whoa, easy there," he said as his breathing became
slightly unsteady.
     "You have ze problem?" Fifi asked lightly as she deliberately continued to
brush her tail against his leg in slow, broad strokes.  "Babs, you see what ze
simple touch of ze woman does to ze man?" she said softly to Babs.  "Eef he was
not ze anatomically correct, zis would mean nothing to him.  But now zat he has
ze hormones in his blood, he eez powerless against ze woman's charm."
     "Uh huh," Buster said as he grabbed her tail in both hands.  He held the
tip tightly in one hand and used his other hand to slowly stroke her silky fur
against the natural grain.  "Two can play this game."
     Fifi blinked and almost dropped the book.  "Oooh la la, I zink you have
made ze point," she purred as she tried to tug her tail free from his grasp.
"In ze other time and place, Bustair, I zink I would let you continue, but we
are trying to figure out ze anatomy, not what to zoo with eet."
     Babs shook her head and gave Fifi a mild look.  "That good huh?"
     Fifi looked at her through half-lidded lavender eyes for a moment before
she reached up and grabbed the end of one of Babs' ears, slowly rubbing her
thumb along the delicate inside edges.  "And what zoo you zink?" she asked very
quietly as Babs' eyes went wide.
     Babs gently yanked her ear out of Fifi's grasp.  "I.... I see what you
mean," she said quietly.
     Fifi nodded and finally succeeded in extracting her tail from Buster's
grip.  "Now imagine what zat would feel like eef eet was Bustair's touch," she
said in a low tone.  "Imagine him pressed against you, softly whispering ze
romantic words in ze ear."
     Babs blinked and glanced at Buster.  He was looking at her with an odd
expression on his face while he absently untangled a long strand of lavender
fur from his hands.  She glanced down and noticed that a rather prominent bulge
had formed in his sweatpants.  Her mind instantly recalled the pictures from
the book and she looked away, feeling the insides of her ears grow warm with
embarrasment.
     "Now you unzerstand ze danger to zis?" Fifi asked quietly.
     "I do now," Babs said with a nod of her head.
     Buster frowned and scratched an ear.  "I don't," he said.  "Don't get me
wrong, I think we can probably have a lot of fun with this, but I still don't
see how these things can be so dangerous."
     "Zink, Bustair," Fifi said carefully.  "How many times in ze history of
humans has zere been ze fights over ze matter of honor about ze woman?  Or how
many times has ze judgement of ze king or ruler of ze nation been influenced
by l'amour?"
     Babs nodded in agreement.  "Helen of Troy was said to have started a war
with her beauty alone."
     Buster blinked.  "Whoa, I think I'm starting to draw a picture here."
     "Like zis?" Fifi said mischievously as she flipped a page in the book and
held it up so everyone could see.
     "Not quite like that," Buster said as his eyes nearly fell out of his
head.  "That looks...."
     "Interessant?"
     "Painful."
     Babs just shook her head.  "I don't think I'm ever going to look at humans
the same way again," she said, faintly nauseated.
     Fifi shrugged.  "C'est l'amour.  Not zat I'd want to zoo such ze zing, but
eet eez, how you say, to each zeir own?"
     "Anyway, back to this danger thing," Buster said as he shook his head.
     "Ze hormones not only affect ze zinking, Bustair, but also ze feelings
ahz well," Fifi said slowly.  "And eef ze feelings change enough, zat eez
enough to zestroy zings like friendships zat have lasted for years."
     Buster stood as still as a statue as he thought about her words.  He gave
Babs a measured look for a moment, then turned his attention to Fifi.  "Okay,
so all we gotta do is make sure we don't take these hormone things personally,
right?" he ventured.
     Fifi and Babs exchanged uncertain looks.  "I zoo not zink he has ze clue,"
Fifi said slowly.
     "He's a guy," Babs replied.  "They never see the big picture."
     Buster sat up and frowned.  "Hey, wait just a mmmmm," he started to say
before Fifi's tail flicked across his mouth and wrapped around his head.
     "I zink you and I are ze ones to need to have ze heart-to-heart," Fifi
said as she ignored Buster and focused her attention on Babs.
     Babs sighed and moved back over to the recliner.  "I'm listening," she
said softly as she curled up and watched Buster struggle with the mass of silky
lavender fur encircling him.
     "Go take ze hot shower, Bustair," Fifi said over her shoulder.
     Buster quit struggling with her tail and gave her a startled look, one ear
bent at an odd angle.  "Mwa umph?" he tried to say around her tail.  Something
began to tickle his nose and he started to bring his hand up to find out what
it was.  He only got half-way before the smell of her musk hit him with the
force of a baseball bat and his senses started begging for mercy.
     Babs blinked as a blue blur screamed past her at a speed that made light
seem to crawl by comparison.  "What did you do?" she asked as she heard faint
gagging noises before the bathroom door slammed shut.
     "I gave him ze incentive to take ze shower," Fifi replied calmly as she
fluffed her tail and discreetly waved it around to disperse the smell before it
could drift in Babs' direction.  "Now zen, would you prefer ze direct approach
or ze more polite, ziplomatic version?"
     Babs sighed and waved her hand in the air.  "Just let me have it, Fifi,"
she said in a weary tone.  "You want him, right?"
     Fifi started to absently twist her tail.  "Oui, but eet eez not how you
zink eet eez."
     "Doesn't matter, you can have him," she said quietly, her voice heavily
laced with resignation.  She stood up and made her way over to the bookcase,
leaning against it for a moment before trying to shove it aside again.
     "Babs, what are you zoing?" Fifi inquired with a frown on her face.
     "Trying to get out here so I can go home and leave you two alone," Babs
grunted as she braced herself and started heaving.  The bookcase slowly began
to move inch by inch, making a hideous grinding noise in the process.  She had
almost opened up a space large enough for her to slip into the stairwell when
she felt Fifi's tail coil around her leg and felt her hands slide around her
waist.
     "Babsie, you zoo not unzerstand," Fifi said very softly in her ear, her
lips brushing against the sensitive edges.  "Oui, I would like ze chance to see
what l'amour eez like with Bustair now zat we are ze anatomically correct, but
I zoo not love him like you zoo."
     Babs quit shoving and held still, trying to grasp the situation on two
levels.  "What?" she asked in confusion as she struggled to sort out the sudden
tingling sensation in her blood.
     "We both love Bustair," Fifi said with a soft sigh in Babs' ear, sending
a shiver down the bunny's spine.  "He eez ze charming rogue who makes me laugh,
and he has ze sense of playfulness zat I zink would be very interesting when in
ze bedroom, but in ze long-term romance, he eez not for moi."
     Babs gasped as she felt Fifi's hands slide down to the bottom edge of her
sweater and slip inside, slowly brushing the short pink fur beneath.  "Vous, on
ze other hand, are ze perfect match for him.  You have been ze good friends for
years, and I zink zat eef you zoo ze exploration of ze bodies together, zat
friendship would blossom into ze powerful romance."
     "You've got to be kidding.  A romance with him?" Babs stammered as her
mind started to turn to jelly at Fifi's touch.  Her fur began to spike as she
felt Fifi's tongue start to preen the fur on her ears.
     "Tell me you zid not ask him to stay with you when you were in ze little
hidden room," Fifi said softly.  "You may not like ze idea of ze romance, but
I zink you like ze idea of not having ze romantic relationship even less."
     Babs lost the ability to speak as she felt Fifi's tail slowly brushing
against her leg and felt her hands gently massaging her stomach.  Very slowly,
Fifi's hands began to work their way higher up, gently rubbing and stroking the
fur in their path.
     "You like zis, no?" Fifi breathed into her ear.  "Imagine how eet would
feel eef zis was Bustair behind you."  She felt Babs' body start to shake and
could hear the breath heaving in her chest.  "What you feel now.... zat eez
what I want to feel ahz well, Babs."
     "I-I-I-Is t-t-t-that all?" Babs moaned as she closed her eyes.
     "Oui, zat eez all," Fifi said as she withdrew her hands from inside Babs'
sweater and turned her around so they could look at each other face-to-face.
"All I want eez ze chance to have ze little fun with Bustair, zen you can have
him," she said slowly.  "Eef eet eez ahz good ahz ze say, I zink I might keep
him for ze while, but not on ze permenant basis.  I zoo love him, Babs.  He eez
ze charmant and ze rogue, but he eez not ze romantic zat I would need for ze
long-term relationship."
     Babs slowly let her breath out and willed her teeth to quit chattering.
"So you just want him for his body, huh?" she asked evenly.
     A smile formed on Fifi's lips.  "Ze body and ze mind, oui, but not ze
heart.  Zat eez all yours."
     "And how do I know you won't change your mind?" Babs asked quietly.  "You
said so yourself, these hormones can influence your way of thinking."
     She blinked hard as Fifi slid her hands around her waist again and gave
her a gentle kiss.  "You zon't," she said when she broke the kiss.  "You zon't
know any more zan I would until eet happens, and zings like zat eez ze true
danger of ze hormones.  All zat we can zoo eez try to make sure zat we try to
remain ze friends, and I mean vous, Bustair, and moi."
     Babs sighed and studied the face of one of her best friends.  "I don't
know, Fifi," she said quietly after what seemed an eternity of soul-searching
had passed.
     "Zen learn," Fifi said as she took her hand and led her over to the couch.
She gestured for Babs to sit and handed her the copy of the Kama Sutra.  "You
can read ze text, no?  Ze pictures are merely ze illustrations for ze mind to
comprehend about certain zetails.  Perhaps when zis eez over, you can teach me
ze new trick or deux," she added with a gleam in her eye.
     Babs looked up with a slightly uncertain look on her face.  "What sort of
tricks?" she asked warily.  She blinked as Fifi leaned over the book to give
her another gentle kiss.
     "Eet does not matter, Babs, I have ze open mind," Fifi replied.  She gave
Babs a sexy smile and added, "Who says l'amour eez only between ze man and ze
woman?  Or who zoo you zink invented ze expression 'menage a trois'?"
     Babs eyes went as wide as saucers.  "Fifi!" she said, scandalized at the
mental images that the skunk was suggesting.
     Fifi shrugged and reached out to flip a few pages in the book.  "Eet eez
not ze original concept, you know," she said as she gestured to a rather
colorful and intricate, if graphic, depiction of what she was talking about.
     "This is a little too much to think about right now," Babs said as she
gestured to the picture, still glancing at it every few seconds.
     "So start from ze beginning," Fifi suggested.  "Maybe by ze time Bustair
gets back, you will have ze idea of what should be done, no?"
     Babs blinked and gave her a suspicious look.  "And how long do you think
it'll be before he gets back?" she asked guardedly.
     Fifi smiled.  "After I am finished with him, and zoo not ask me when zat
will be, ahz I zoo not have ze faintest clue."
     Babs closed her eyes and leaned back against the loveseat.  The book was
rather large and she could feel its weight in her lap.  She focused her mind
on that feeling for a few moments, trying to calm her mind down to the point
where she could think rationally.  She felt Fifi's hand patting hers and she
opened her eyes.
     "Relax, Babsie, I will take eet easy on him," Fifi said with a chuckle.
"And I promise to save some of his strength for vous."
     "You're so kind," Babs replied, her voice laced with dry sarcasm.
     Fifi just smiled and leaned over to kiss the tip of her ear.  "I will
talk to you later," she said as she turned around and started walking towards
the corridor leading to the bedrooms and bathroom.
     Babs just sat in silence as she watched Fifi open the bathroom door and
vanished from sight as a massive steam cloud drifted out.  She heard a soft
sound as the door closed and the steam began to disspate, vanishing as quickly
as it had come and leaving no trace of Fifi's existence behind it.
     With a sigh, Babs turned her attention to the book and began to read.

                *               *               *               *

     I think I got it all, Buster thought to himself as he finished scrubbing
his fur for the sixth time in ten minutes.  Man, why'd she have to do that? he
grumbled as he set the bottle of shampoo back on the shelf and stood under the
stream of hot water to rinse off.
     "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh," he sighed as he felt the warmth of the water seep
back into his muscles.  He closed his eyes and leaned heavily against the wall,
letting the flow of water carry away the last traces of the shampoo and, he
hoped, the lingering stink of her musk.
     "You sound like you are enjoying ze shower," a voice cooed from the other
end of the small bathroom.
     His eyes snapped open and nearly popped out of his head.  "Fifi?!" he said
as he stepped to the edge of the shower and stuck his head past the partly
open curtain.  "What are you doing in here?!"
     "Taking ze shower," she purred as she made sure there were enough dry
towels in the area.  "You have ze objection?" she said as she stood next to the
edge of the tub and looked inside.
     "Yeah, I'm still in here," Buster protested as he backed up and bumped
into the wall.
     "Zat eez ze good part," she said huskily as she stepped into the bathtub
with him.  "How's ze water?"
     "Uhh, Fifi...."
     She smiled and moved close to him.  "I already had ze little talk with
Babs," she said softly.  "And now vous et moi need to have ze talk, no?"
     Buster swallowed hard as she stepped into the spray of water and pressed
herself up against him.  "Trust me, you have my full attention."
     "Maybe what I want eez to have vous at ze attention," she purred as she
reached out and cupped his new anatomy in her hand.
     "What... are... you... doing?!" he gasped as his fur started to spike,
despite of being thoroughly soaked against his skin.
     She fluffed her tail and held it up against the showerhead, soaking it to
the skin in seconds.  "What I want, Bustair, eez you," she said quietly.  "Ahz
I have said, I have already talked to Babs about ze matter.  You are such ze
rogue and ze charmant, and I like zat in ze lover."
     "Lover?" he said incrediously, blinking hard.  "Whoa, Fifi, time out.  I
know we're good friends and all, but...."
     She paused and gave him a slightly hurt look.  "But you zoo not want me?"
She shook her head slowly.  "Zoo not misunzerstand me when I say zis, mon amie,
but I love you."
     Buster blinked hard.  "What?" he said softly.
     "I zoo love you," she said quietly.  "Maybe not to ze degree zat Babs
adores you, and I zoo not zink I would want you for ze long-term romance, but
I know what ze love feels like.  We are ze good friends, Bustair, and I am
zeeply touched zat you continue to be my friend after we have become ze
anatomically correct.  Who else but you, mon amie, would stay with me through
all of zis?" she asked.
     "I-I'm touched, Fifi," he said slowly.  "And not just because you've got
me by the crank."
     Fifi glanced down at the pink anatomy in her purple hand and gave him a
soft smile.  "Even in ze awkward moments you make me laugh," she said as she
gave him a light squeeze.  She closed her eyes and leaned back, letting the
decidedly warm water flow over her face and chest.
     "You know, you're right," he said after a moment.
     She leaned forward and shook the excess water out of her now-drenched fur.
"Oh?  About what?" she asked as she wiped her eyes with her free hand.
     "You do look like a drowned rat when wet," he deadpanned.
     She laughed softly, a delicate sound that was quite pleasing to his ears.
"You are such ze rogue, Bustair!" she said as she engulfed him in a hug and
held him, letting the shower pour over both their bodies.
     "Whoa, easy," he said as he felt her pressing against him.  They were both
quite soaked and their fur made an odd squishing noise as they hugged.  He
blinked as he realized that because her fur was now plastered against her skin,
she looked smaller than what he was used to.
     "Zoo me ze small favor," she whispered in his ear as she ran her fingers
up and down his back.  "Zoo not let go of moi just yet."
     He blinked as he felt small electrical shocks climb up and down his spine
in time with the movements of her hands.  "I might have to," he cautioned her
as he felt his new anatomy start to grow heavy again.
     "Why eez zat?" she said as she began to gently nibble on his ear.
     The sensation caused his breath to momentarily jam in his throat.  He felt
his anatomy start to respond and suppressed a brief impulse to groan in her
ear.  "I think the engine just turned over," he said as he began to rub her
back lightly.
     "And zat eez ze problem?" she said lightly as she worked her hands down
lower on his back, still gently nibbling on his ear.
     "It.... might be," he breathed as his blood seemed to catch fire.  He felt
that he could take a pen and accurately trace the network of nerves leading
from the tip of his ear clear down to the base of his spine.
     "I guess we need to zoo somezing about zat, no?" she whispered as she
turned her head and gave him a deeply passionate kiss.
     Buster felt his anatomy start change, stretching out and becoming firmer
to the touch.  He could feel the tip start to brush against the fur on her legs
and his throat promptly put a strangle-hold on his breath.  He felt her tail
wrap around his leg, feeling more like a wet whip instead of the usual silky
sensation, and he couldn't stop the soft moan that escaped past his lips.
     "Oooh, I zink you like zat," she murmured as she broke the kiss for air.
"And I zink ze little beast has awakened," she added as she pressed her groin
against his, feeling his hardness against her thigh.
     "Whoa...." he gasped quietly as some unknown impulse took hold of him and
he began to knead the fur on her back.  "This is starting to feel strange...."
     She reached up and ran her fingers along the side of his neck.  "Talk to
me, Bustair," she said softly.  "Tell me what eet eez zat you feel."
     "I think you're feeling it right now," he said half-jokingly as he gave
her a tight squeeze.
     "Ze only zings I feel, Bustair, are ze manhood looking to find ze right
place and ze burning desire to help you find it," she breathed.  "Sacre bleu,
you have no idea how much zis hurts."
     Buster blinked and immediately quit rubbing her back, trying to pull away
from her.  "I'm sorry, Fifi, I don't mean to be hurting you or anything...."
     She laughed quietly and held onto him, resting her head on his shoulder.
"Non, ze pain eez not like zat.  Eet eez ze sweet agony of ze desire for ze
intimacy and l'amour.  I have read about zis kind of pain before in ze romance
novels, but I never zought eet would feel zis good," she purred.
     Buster blinked.  "Don't tell me you're a masochist," he said slowly.
     She gigged and ran her tongue along the edge of his ear, eliciting a deep
groan from him.  "Non, mon amie.  Perhaps pain eez not ze right word.  I zink
eet eez more like ze persistent itch zat begs to be scratched."
     "Uh huh," Buster said as he thought about her words.  "I think I know what
you're talking about now."
     "Perhaps we should make ze deal?" she said as she slid her hands around
his waist and gently massaged the tuft of his cotton-like tail.
     "I'm.... listening...." he gasped as her touch sent more tiny shocks of
pure delight racing up and down his spine.
     "You scratch my itch, and I will scratch yours," she offered.
     "Sounds fair, but what's the catch?" he said slowly.
     Fifi gave his tail a final squeeze before she took a step back and took
his hand in hers.  "No catch, mon amie," she purred.  "You can start with ze
itch here," she said as she pressed his hand to her chest.
     With her fur thoroughly soaked and following the contours of her body,
Buster was able to clearly see the swells of her breasts.  They do look nice,
he though to himself as he nodded and gently squeezed the soft flesh.  He began
to move his fingertips around and blinked when he came across a small mass of
hardened skin.  "Hey, what's this?"
     Her lips moved, but no sound emerged for a few seconds.  "I.... I zink you
have just discovered ze itch," she whimpered, her eyes half-closed.  "Mon Dieu,
zoo not stop."
     Now this is interesting, he thought as he experimented with her nipples,
watching her reaction to his touch.  He gently squeezed it and she moaned with
undisguised pleasure.  "Hey, this is just what some people could use, a place
for the volume button," he quipped as he lightly pinched her, causing her to
gasp louder.
     "Oooooooooui," she moaned.  "But I zoo not zink eet can be turned down....
Ohh!  Not so hard, Bustair, eet eez very delicate," she gasped.
     He chuckled.  "Relax, you're in good hands," he joked as he rubbed his
nose against hers.
     Fifi whimpered.  "Oui, but eet eez not ze hands I want eet in," she said
quietly.  "I hear ze pleasure eez tres bien eef ze lover uses ze lips."
     "Huh," he said as he thought about it.  He stuck his ears straight up and
held them in front of the stream of water, blocking most of it from splashing
against her chest.  He carefully brushed as much of the fur away from her chest
as he could, exposing the pale violet nipples and deep purple circles around
them.  He bent his head down and experimentally flicked his tongue across them,
waiting for her reaction.
     He chuckled as she yelped and pressed his head against her chest, almost
ramming her nipple down his throat.  "Sacre bleu, zoo not stop zat!" she cried
out in ecstacy.
     "Now I know why some people refer to them as melons," he said as he began
to lick in earnest.  "They really do taste like that."
     "I.... I zink.... you are.... making ze.... joke again," she gasped as her
mind began to float on a cloud of pleasure.  She gasped even louder than before
as his lips closed around her nipple, drawing it into his mouth and gently
sucking on it.
     Time lost all meaning as he continued to pleasure her, shifting his focus
to the other nipple every few minutes.  Her world was quickly narrowing down to
the fierce aching of her breasts and a burning warmth that was concentrated in
her groin.  She knew from what she had read in the 'Harlequin' romance novels
what this meant, and also what should be done about it.
     "Enough, Bustair," she gasped softly as she tried to pull away from him.
     Buster shrugged and folded his ears against his head, letting the steady
spray of water splash against her chest.  She whimpered as the still-warm water
flowed over her hardened nipples and sent yet another series of delightful
shocks through her body.
     She glanced around to make a quick assessment of the size of the bathtub.
She made a low-pitched noise of approval in her throat and looked up at him,
her lavender eyes burning with undisguised lust.  "Sit down," she said as she
put her hand on his shoulder and lightly pushed him down.
     He have her a curious look as he got down on his knees.  She smiled and
shook her head.  "Non, sit on ze tail and stretch ze legs out," she instructed
as she stepped back to give him a little maneuvering room.  She waited until he
had gotten into the right position before she adjusted the angle of the shower
downward, focusing most of the spray of warm water on his legs.  She then sat
in his lap, wrapping her legs around his waist and leaning back slightly to
let the water flow over her head and chest.
     Buster smirked.  "This is kinda cozy," he said lightly as he hugged her,
rubbing his nose against hers.
     "Eet will get better, mon amie," she said seductively as she reached down
to rub his still-hard anatomy.  "Now we scratch ze major itch, no?"
     "I'm not gonna argue," he teased as he flicked his ears upward into the
cone of water being sprayed out.  The water droplets struck his ears and were
scattered in all directions, falling around him in a lopsided circle.
     "I have never done zis before, Bustair," she said softly in his ear as she
adjusted her grip on his manhood.  "So ze feeling might come ahz ze surprise to
ze both of us."
     Buster blinked.  "What sort of feeling?" he asked carefully.
     "Zis," she whispered as she held him still and slid her hips forward.
     He suddenly found himself unable to breathe as he felt himself slide into
her.  His nerves immediately became hyper-sensitive and he could acutely feel
her groin pressed hard against his, her legs securely wrapped around his waist,
her arms hugging him tight, her short fingernails almost piercing the skin of
his back.  He could feel the sudden stillness in his ears where her breath had
been before it left as fast as his had, could almost count each individual drop
of water as it emerged from the showerhead and bounced off his ears, could feel
the small river of water rushing around him as he sat in the tub, could feel
his pulse throbbing in his anatomy and felt her pulse throbbing around him.
     It seemed like days passed before he felt her start to move, pulling her
hips back and withdrawing him from her depths.  The sense of loss cut into his
soul like a knife and he ached to have that feeling returned to him.  She
continued to move until he was almost free of her before reversing her motions,
bringing them back together again and sending them both into a completely new
universe of feelings and sensations.
     He blinked as his body started to remind him of his earthly obligations,
such as breathing.  He tried to let his breath out as evenly as he could, but
it sounded like a sustained primal roar to his ears.  The sudden intake of
fresh air into his lungs helped clear his mind ever so slightly, just enough
for him to regain his usual sense of his surroundings.
     He tried to say something to her, to express himself, to somehow convey
the unspeakable feelings of pleasure in simple language.  However, all that
emerged from his throat was a deep sigh that, in itself, spoke far more than
mere words could ever hope to mean.
     Fifi's response was just as inarticulate, but her soft moan was every bit
as meaningful as his sigh.  Her lips twitched as she tried to speak, but even
her imperfect mastery of two languages couldn't help her find her voice.  After
a few moments of such futile effort, she gave up and switched over to a more
primal method of communicating herself.  With another soft moan, she leaned
forward and kissed him, melding her lips to his and moving her hips in a slow,
steady rhythm.
     Time not only stopped but the very fabric of the universe collapsed in on
itself as well as their focus narrowed down to the sensation of their bodies
merged together in raw passion.  Coherent thought ceased to exist and memories
of the past vanished like fog beneath the sun as they moved together, then
apart, then back together again, repeating a pattern as old as time itself.
The very concept of pleasure was shredded into tatters and the th