A Visit To Dessin Machi (or A Stranger In A Stranger Land)


					*	

     "You sure this is the place you wanna go?" the cab driver asked me as we
reached my destination.  "Not that this is any of my business, bud, but this
is not exactly what you call the good side of town...."
     I nodded as I pulled the cab fare out of my pocket.  "Yes, I know," I
said, unconsciously imitating someone I once knew.  I knew it was a bad habit
I picked up, but when you're a fanfiction writer you can't help these things.
     The cabbie shrugged.  "It's your sanity," he said as he took the money.
     "Or what's left of it," I said with a small smile as I exited the cab.
As soon as I had closed the door he took off at a fast pace, almost burning
the rubber off of his tires.  "Go figure," I said to myself and started 
walking towards the tunnel.
     The tunnel entrance was rather unremarkable, considering its importance.
The only noticable difference between this tunnel and any other one was a
sign with the words "Welcome to ToonTown" written in a strange type of neon
ink.  Ink that could only have come from one place.
     I muttered a quick prayer to the spirit of Mel Blanc in the hopes that
it would make my trip a great deal easier than my last one into this bizarre
realm.  Not really believing it worked, I took a deep breath and started to
walk down the length of the tunnel.
     I hadn't gone halfway down the tunnel before a screaming blue blur ran
towards me with an unidentifiable portion of his anatomy on fire.  "Excuseme,
butdoyouhaveanywater?" he said, running around in small circles.
     I shook my head.  "No, but there's a lake about a quarter mile down that
way," I said, pointing in the direction I had just come.
     "Thanksforyourhelp!!" he said and darted off down the other end of the
tunnel.
     "Already it begins," I muttered to myself as I resumed my journey.

                *               *               *               *

     I stepped out of the tunnel entrance and into one of Steven Speilberg's
caffeine dreams.   ToonTown was just that: An entire city created in cartoon
style.  There were all sorts of skyscrapers and buildings as far as the eye
could see.  It seemed to be a normal city, aside from the technicoloring of
everything, but I knew better.
     This wasn't any Toon city, it was the Warner Brother's ToonTown.
     Even as I looked around to get my bearings, I saw three Toons with
familiar outfits being chased by a ToonCop with a butterfly net.  I prayed
that they wouldn't notice me, but a human in a cartoon city tends to stick
out and be noticed rather easily.
     As if on cue, they looked at me and changed course.  Despite the fact
that they appeared to be three city blocks away, they were all over me in an
instant.  I blinked as I suddenly had three Toons sitting on my shoulders.
     "Hey, what do we have here?" said the one wearing tan pants.
     "Hello, Yakko," I sighed.
     "Howdy," Yakko said and shook my hand.  "I take it that you know us?"
     "Unfortunately."
     Wakko grinned and started digging in his pockets.  "Oh, goodie!  That
means you can be our Special Friend for this episode!" he said and hung a
pink heart around my neck with the words "Special Friend" written in gold.
     "I really don't mean to be rude to you guys, but I'm on a business trip
this time...." I tried to explain but was cut off as Dot gave me a throat-
crushing bearhug.
     "Don't be silly, you can take us with you!" she said and batted her eyes
at me.  Yakko and Wakko immediately perked up even more than before and
nodded happily.
     "I'd love to," I said, my voice wheezing due to lack of oxygen, "But I'm
supposed to be directing...."
     All three of them froze like statues.  "You.... you're a Director?" Dot
asked in awe.
     I nodded and reached for my ID card in my pocket.  "I'm only a Class F
Director, but I'm still up there," I said as I showed the glossy black card
to the Toons.
     They immediately scrambled down off of me and started dusting me off.
"We're sorry, we didn't mean to bother you," Yakko apologized as he removed
the pink heart from around my neck.
     "That's no problem," I said, never ceasing be amazed at how well-behaved
Toons become around directors.  I figured they did that so they might get a
part in some new cartoon being directed.  It rarely worked, but that never
stopped them from trying.
     "I don't suppose you'd be interested in casting us for a part in one of
your skits?" Dot asked hopefully.
     "Sorry, Dot, I already have everyone I need casted.  I'll keep you three
in mind for the next one, though," I replied.  I hope that they didn't know
humans enough to know that I was lying through my teeth.
     "Thanks," Yakko said and leaned closer.  "Ahhh, if you don't mind my
asking, what kind of Fanfiction do you do?" he asked softly.  "I mean, you
don't cast for anything that wouldn't be suitable for public viewing, right?"
     I knew exactly what he was getting at.  The vast majority of Toons were
still slightly shocked at the adult fanfic series Buster and Babs Bunny had
done awhile back.  From what I understand, Toons nowadays don't take kindly
to directors who specialize in Class F/X skits.
     I started to sweat slightly, knowing my own license was actually rated
Class F/H, and that only on a technicality.  However, the H rating was in
Japanese, so I hoped they didn't know what it meant.
     "Actually, the kind of Fanfiction I write is in the Japanese style," I
said cautiously.  "Sailor Moon, to be exact."  I blinked at the sudden
reaction my words got.
     Dot pulled a suit out of her pocket and turned into a miniature tornado
to put it on.  When she finished, she was dressed in a rather interesting
rendition of a Sailor Scout suit.  "Ta-dah!  The return of Sailor Toon!" she
announced triumphantly.
     Wakko sighed and buried his head in the ground like an ostrich.  "Here
we go again."
     Yakko shook his head.  "You just had to mention Sailor Moon...."
     Inside, I groaned at my mistake.  "This one I remember," I told Yakko.
"Who was the director for that one?"
     Yakko leaned his elbow on a convenient mailbox and sighed.  "I don't
remember that part, but what I do remember is the headache it gave me."
     "You're not the only one," I muttered.  "Though I have to admit it was
rather well done for a crossover."
     Dot nodded and scratched an itch.  "Yeah, well, the suit could have used
some work.  This skirt is way too high...." she complained, tugging at the
neon pink fabric.
     I coughed discreetly, trying to change the subject.  "Anyway, do any of
you three know how she got from Dessin Machi to here?"
     Wakko poked his head up from the ground.  "Des-what?" he asked, a very
confused look on his face.
     "Dessin Machi," Yakko said.  "That's the Japanese version of ToonTown."
     "Oh, I remember!" Dot exclaimed.  "I used to have a penpal from there.
I think her name was B-ko or something like that...."
     "Why am I not surprised it would be her?" I said with a smile.  "Did she
ever give you directions to the Gravitron City District of Dessin Machi?"
     Dot nodded.  "I've got the specifics in my room at the Water Tower, but
I know you have to take the train."
     I frowned slightly at the prospect of relying on a Toon method of travel.
"A train, eh?  How much was the fare?"
     Yakko smiled and whacked me on the back.  "Oh, don't worry about that.
We can get you an express ticket for free."
     "Oh, yeah?" I said, getting uneasier by the minute.
     "Oh, sure!  One of the conductors is a good friend of ours...."

                *               *               *               *

     The trip to ToonTown's version of Grand Central Station was quite scenic
and thankfully uneventful.  A small card in Wakko's pocket got us to a remote
and desolate rail platform where we were waiting for the express train.
     "Are you sure this is it?" I asked hesitantly, noticing the vast number
of cobwebs surrounding the area.
     Yakko nodded.  "This is it.  Very few Toons use this, however.  Not many
of us can land roles in foreign skits."  He looked up at the loud sound of an
approaching train.  "Ahh, here you go.  Guaranteed direct express to the
other realms of Animation."
     I got a good look at the train as it rolled to a surprisingly soft stop.
It appeared to be one of the modern, high-speed 'bullet' trains that some
major cities use for commuters.  I hoped that this train lived up to its real
counterparts.  Then the front door opened and a very familiar figure stuck
his head out.
     "Beep beep!" he called out, waving a wing in greeting.
     "Hey, Road, how's it going?" Yakko called back, also waving his hand.
     I immediately got that sinking feeling that if one of the fastest Toons
in history was driving, this was going to be a train ride I would probably
never forget for as long as I lived.
     "Listen, this guy here is a Class F Director and he needs to get over to
Dessin Machi.  Think you can take him?" Yakko said.
     The Road Runner looked at me with a measure of respect and held up one
of those patented Acme Instant Speech Signs.  <May I see your ID, please?> it
said.  The sign flipped over and read <Sorry I have to ask.  Company policy.>
     "No problem," I said, showing him my director ID card.
     He looked at it briefly and flipped the sign over.  <Welcome aboard.>
     "Thank you," I said as I got on the train.  I paused in the entranceway
and turned around to face the Warners.  "Thanks for helping me out here, you
three."
     "Never a problem," Wakko said with one of his big, dopey grins.
     "Always glad to help out the Directors," Dot said, waving farewell.
     "Hope you have a pleasant trip," Yakko said, then glanced behind him.
"Umm, if you'll excuse us, Ralph looks like he wants to have a word with us.
Too bad we don't want to return the favor...."
     I looked behind them and saw the fat Toon cop with the butterfly net
running towards the three Toons.  "Have fun," I said.
     "Oh, we will...." they said in unison before taking off running.  The
cop stopped in the spot where they had just stood, shook his fist at them,
and started to run after them again.
     "BEEP BEEP!" said the Road Runner, holding up a sign that read <Final
boarding call, all aboard!>
     I stepped inside the cab and paused.  There weren't any seats available,
just leather straps hanging off of the overhead handrails.  The Road Runner
was standing in the front of the cab next to the train controls.
     "No seats?" I asked, feeling slightly sick to my stomach.
     "Beep," he said, holding up a rather large text sign.  <We had them at
one time, but the laws of physics sort of rendered them.... nonfunctional.>
     I looked at the rear of the cab and blinked.  There seemed to be a thin
layer of plastic and padding smeared on the back wall.  I did my best not to
imagine the gravity forces necessary to do that, but since I tended to have
more imagination than Tim Burton on half a pot of coffee, I failed miserably.
     "Great...."
     The Road Runner shrugged and held up a new sign.  <Time to depart.>  He
flipped the sign over to read <Might want to hold on.>
     I sighed to myself and grabbed on to the nearest leather strap with both
hands.  "Ready when you are," I said.
     "Beep beep!" he replied and turned to the controls.  He pecked at the
console for a few seconds before the train smoothly started to move forward,
accelerating as it went.  I was surprised when it rapidly and calmly reached
a cruising speed only seconds after leaving the station.
     <Next stop: Dessin Machi.  ETA: 17 hours.> read the sign.
     "Seventeen hours?" I echoed.
     The Road Runner shrugged and held up a billboard-sized text sign.  <Keep
in mind that Dessin Machi is on the other side of the Animation universe.
The distance from here to there is about the same distance between Hollywood
and Tokyo in the real world.>
     He smiled and held up another sign.  <Of course, we could get there much
faster if I used the overdrive....>
     I sighed as I considered my options.  I didn't have seventeen hours to
wait to get to Dessin Machi.  On the over hand, if I let this bird do what I
think he wants to do, I might not survive long enough to get to the city in
the first place.  I tried to remember if I heard of any reports of humans
dying inside a Toon world before, but with my memory being what it was, I
really couldn't trust it.
     "Alright, use the overdrive.  Just get me there alive, please," I said
between clenched teeth.  I felt my stomach drop past my knees as a rather
evil grin crossed the Road Runner's face.
     "Beep beep," he said meanacingly as he pecked at a set of controls.
     I blinked as I felt a heavy thump and the train started to slow down.
"Did we just lose the drive train?" I asked, referring to the mechanical
systems that give the train forward motion.
     <Yes and no,> the sign read.  Flip.  <I just put it into neutral for a
moment while I switched drives.>  Flip.  <You do have a tight grip, right?>
     "Oh, shit...." I muttered, temporarily forgetting about the cussing
restrictions inside ToonTown's boundaries.
     The Road Runner blinked in shock and blushed.  <Naughty naughty.> the
sign read.  There was a soft whine as a treadmill rose up out of a hidden
panel on the floor.  He walked onto the treadmill and started jogging slowly.
     <Everything seems ready,> the sign read.  Flip.  <You ready?>
     "As ready as I'll ever be," I said, silently adding 'to die' to my
statement.
     "Be-hee-hee-hee-ep," he laughed quietly and took off running full-speed.
His legs quickly blurred into his trademark circles, but the train was still
coasting to a gentle stop.  He blinked and held up another sign.  <WTF?>
     I swallowed hard, knowing full well that I was making a crucial mistake
in telling him the problem.  "It's still in neutral...."
     <DUH!> the sign read as the Road Runner rolled his eyes, still making
tracks on the treadmill.  He reached out and hit a toggle with his beak.
     There was a heavy clunking sound as the drive train switched over and I
suddenly found myself at a ninety-degree angle to the floor.  I could feel
my stomach drop screaming past my ankles while most of the blood in my body
started to collect in my toes.
     I managed to glance up towards the front and saw the Road Runner holding
up another speech sign.  <New ETA: 15 minutes.>
     I groaned and wondered if I was going to last the next fifteen seconds.
I saw a blue blur out of the corner of my eye and glanced out.  I blinked to
make sure that the extreme Toon gravitational forces weren't messing with my
vision, but they weren't.  Of all of the people with blue hair I knew, this
was the last person I expected to meet.
     He reached up and rolled down my window somehow, despite the fact that
both he and the train were moving faster than the speed of comprehension.
"Hey, how ya doing?" he asked cheerfully over the roaring sound of the wind.
     "Sonic, what are you doing here?" I croaked.
     The Hedgehog held out his hands and shrugged, keeping on eye on where he
was running.  "VideoLand isn't too far from here, actually.  I may be a Video
animation, but I'm still part of the Animation universe.  So what brings you
here?  We don't get too many humans around here very often."
     "On my way to Dessin Machi," I managed to say.  I was starting to get
used to the hypervelocity of the train and was actually starting to think
that I had a chance of living to see my destination.
     "Cool," Sonic replied.  "If you happen to run across Gally-chan, tell
her I got the stuff she wanted from the Sega Corporation."
     "I'll keep that in mind," I said, still suffering.
     "Great.  Thanks a lot.  I gotta go, so I'll see you around.  Talk to you
next week, Road Runner!" he called out.
     The Road Runner somehow managed to stick his head out the window while
still hauling on the treadmill.  "Beep beep!" he replied.
     I watched as Sonic changed directions and became a blue blur against the
distant landscape.  I continued to watch in fascination as the landscape
changed from time to time, reflecting the different aspects of the Animation
universe.
     All of the cities from all of the American cartoons were here, spread
out across the countryside.  I blinked as we blasted past a Transformers city
and shortly after that, a city from G.I. Joe.  In short order, we cleared the
countryside and cruised around the edge of a major metropolis created from
the harsh lines of computer-generated graphics.
     <Now passing VideoLand> said the Road Runner's sign.  <ETA to Dessin
Machi: 11 minutes.>
     I sighed and tried not to think about the next ten minutes.  I found
that I could breathe okay and enough blood was getting to my brain to keep
me sane, but it wasn't going to be a comfortable ride.  Maybe I'll take a
flight on the way back, I started thinking to myself.

                *               *               *               *

     Ten minutes and a massive headache later, I glanced out the window and
saw the welcome sight of Japanese anime-style cities on the horizon.  From
what I could tell, we were just now passing one of the cities from the movie
"Appleseed".
     "We're almost there, Road Runner.  Can we slow down now?" I asked as
best as I could under the circumstances.
     The Toon gave me a cheerful smile and held up a text sign.  <Sure thing.
Just let me switch drives.> it read.  He hopped off the treadmill and pecked
at the console.
     I blinked as nothing happened and he frowned.  "Problem?" I said rather
nervously, a thin tendril of icyness making its way down my back.
     <Drive train malfuction,> the sign read.  He stuck out his tongue at the
console and flipped the sign over.  <Won't switch over.  Need to use the
emergency brakes.>  He put the sign down after I finished reading it and
hopped back on the treadmill.
     I nearly wet my pants as I remembered the Road Runner's idea of braking.
I was about to say something when, in true Toon style, the Road Runner came
to an absolute halt on the treadmill.
     The front right wheel on the train locked up instantly.  The remaining
several hundred wheels, however, did not.  The end result was that the whole
train jumped the tracks and swung out as a single unit, pivoting on the one
wheel.
     I couldn't even scream as the gravitational forces slammed me into the
side of the train like a bug on a semi's windshield.  The train swung around
and amazingly landed on the tracks on the other side.  The G-forces let me go
and I fell onto the floor, giving my already battered body more bruises.
     I somehow managed to get to my feet and looked around.  The train seemed
to be perfectly fine, only now it was facing in the opposite direction.  I
looked up to see a smiling Road Runner looking at me and holding a sign.
     <One way to pop a U-turn, eh?> it said.  Flip.  <We're here.>  Flip.  <I
hope you had a pleasant trip.>
     I felt my guts heave and tried to keep breakfast down.  "Let's just say
I won't ever forget everything you've done for me," I said cautiously.
     "Beep!  Beep!" he said and opened the cab door.  I waved to him and made
a dignified but hasty exit.  I made my way off of the platform and into the
main terminal.  Behind me, I heard the train horn beep several times before
it smoothly took off and headed back to ToonTown.
     "Excuse me, Mr. Director," said a soft, deep voice from behind me, "But
was that the train to Cape Suzette, by any chance?"
     I turned around and found myself face-to-face with a very familiar and
very American-looking bengal tiger.  "No, Mr. Kahn, that was the train back
to ToonTown," I replied.
     Shere Kahn nodded to me and adjusted the conservative dark blue business
tie he was wearing.  "I see," he said as he pulled out a gold pocketwatch and
flipped it open.  "Then it appears that the train is running late.  Again."
     "Excuse me, Mr. Kahn, but what are you doing in Dessin Machi?"  I asked,
curious as to why one of Walt Disney's creations would be among a horde of
Japanese animates.
     He arched an eyebrow at me.  "Why, business of course.  Kahn Enterprises
wouldn't be the financial empire that it is today without having some sort of
foreign business contact.  Business needs room to grow, and foreign markets
offer excellent opportunities to increase my supply of both money and power."
     I sighed and resisted the urge to conk myself on the head.  "Of course,"
I replied.  "If I may ask, do you know where I can catch a cab?"
     He pointed to a phone booth behind me.  "That phone is a hotline to the
city's main taxi dispatch office.  I'm sure they would be more than happy to
help a Director."
     "Thank you for your help, Mr. Kahn, and I wish you good luck with your
business," I said with a smile.
     Again I got the arched eyebrow look.  "Luck rarely plays a role in major
business, Mr. Director, but I thank you anyway.  Good day," he said and turned
around to scan the horizon for his late train.
     I decided that was my cue to leave and headed off towards the phone booth.
I placed the call to the central dispatch office and they immediately assured
me that a cab would be at my location within minutes.  I thanked the dispatcher
and hung up, looking around for a place to wait for the cab.
     I blinked as the sound of screeching rubber reached my ears a bare instant
before a cab braked to a halt a few feet away from me.  The driver rolled down
the window and stuck her head out.  "Sorry for the delay, I got caught up in
traffic!" she yelled, pointing to a rather messy accident a few blocks behind
her.  I blinked again as I recognized the dark blue hair and rather stunningly
beautiful features.
     "Nova Satori?"
     She blinked at the mention of her name and her face lit up.  "Hey, someone
who knows me!  I guess my Robotech days weren't that much of a waste after all.
Come on, get in and let's go," she said, reaching across the cab and unlocking
the front passenger door.
     I opened the door and got in, still wondering how dispatch had gotten a
cab to where I was only thirty-four seconds after I had called.  I asked Nova
this and got one of her rare laughs in response.
     "To be honest, I was getting a ride across town when the call came in for
a cab to pick up a Director.  I had always wanted to meet one, so I ditched the
cab driver back there and plowed my way though traffic to get here."
     I sighed at the whole image.  "I never would have thought you were even
remotely impulsive like that," I said to her.
     She shrugged.  "So I was cast for a serious-type role.  No Director is
perfect," she said as she shifted the cab into gear and took off.  "So where
to, Mr. Director?"
     I gave her the address where I was going to meet my contact.  "Umm, do you
think it's wise for you to take me like this?  You could get into some serious
trouble...."
     She grinned at me as she sharply took a corner.  "Relax, I've got it under
control.  I used to be a stunt-double for Yuri during the filming of one of the
'Dirty Pair' episodes, so I'm used to cleaing up after these kind of things.
Of course, I don't have any legal authority now, but I think I'll be able to
manage...." she said as she stomped on the accelerator, leaving my breath stuck
in my throat and my stomach somewhere behind us.
     Why me? I wondered as we went zooming into the depths of the city.

		*		*		*		*

     The drive there was fast-paced and surprisingly uneventful.  I noticed she
had a tendency to oversteer when making ninety-degree turns at speeds above
ninety-five kilometers per hour, but she was overall an excellent driver.  The
cab eventually screeched to a halt in front of a small office building at the
far edge of the city.
     "Well, here we are," she said with a smile.
     "Thank you, Ms. Satori," I said as I opened the door.  "How much is the
cab fare?"
     She laughed and waved her hand.  "Call me Nova, and there isn't any fare.
Unless you want to give me a part in one of your movies," she added hopefully.
     "Sure about that?" I asked, showing her my Class F/H Director's License.
     She looked at the H rating and blushed.  "Actually.... I wouldn't mind a
small role as an exotic dancer.... For a short period of time, that is...."
     Her statement surprised me more than anything that had happened since I
left ToonTown.  "Umm.... I'll see if there's anything available, Nova.  I'll
give you a call if I do.  Thanks again."
     "See ya around!" she called out as she shifted the cab into reverse and
peeled rubber.  I sighed heavily at the image of the tough, no-nonsense Nova
Satori being an exotic dancer in some bar in some city.  Maybe in another few
years.... I thought to myself before entering the office building.
     I took the steps up to the third floor.  The hallway appeared to be rather
vacant and unused.  I started to walk, counting the number of doors I passed
until I reached the one I sought.
     Lance Segawa, Private Investigator, the nameplate said.  I reached up and
knocked loudly on the door, noting with mild interest that the walls had been
patched up with concrete after something had blasted a hole through them.
     "Come in," said a voice on the other side of the door.
     I opened the door and went into the small office.  Everything was exactly
as I had pictured it would be.  That in itself was no surprise to me, since the
office was part of one of my original, if experimental, creations.
     The young animate sitting at the next glanced up at me and did a double
take.  "Boss!" he said, jumping up and shaking my hand.  I had always been
amazed at how Lance turned out.  The creative energy behind the story had long
fizzled out, but since he had already been created he continued to exist.
     "So how's life been treating you, Lance?" I asked, sitting down in the
chair he offered me.
     He shrugged as he sat back down behind his desk.  "Could be better, but it
could be a lot worse.  At least you gave me a decent job in this city."
     I nodded.  "It was the least I could do after the story failed.  I'm still
sorry about that," I apologized.
     He waved his hand in the air.  "Hah, don't worry about it.  I'm still in
one piece, and I've got a job.  Speaking of jobs...." he said, trailing off as
he rummaged through a stack of manilla folders on his desk.  He quickly found
the ones he was looking for and slid them across the desk for me.  "I got the
personality analyses you wanted on the Sailor Senshi."
     "Great," I said as I picked up the stack.  There were five folders in all,
one for each of the Senshi, and each one was filled to overflowing with various
papers and such.  "Whoa, this might be more than I bargained for.  Can you give
me a short summary to work with until I can sort all of this out?"
     He nodded.  "Sure, no problem," he said as he reached out and took the
folders.  He set them down on the table and opened the first one he came to.
"You want the whole overview of their personas or just as you wrote them in
your Dark Adventure series?"
     "SMV will do," I said.  "I'll sort out the other stuff later."
     "Okay...." he said, flipping through the folder.  "Ami Mizuno, otherwise
known as Sailor Mercury.  She's extremely intelligent, somewhat of a brain
trust, if you will, but occasionally lacking some of the finer points of her
social skills.  Highly stable emotionally, usually shy and reserved around
other people.  Very dedicated to her work, almost to a practical fault.  She
has been known to tune out the rest of the world for hours on end when she's
studying her schoolwork."
     He flipped a few more pages and continued to summarize.  "Once she becomes
Sailor Mercury, her intuitive and intellectual powers increase, if that is even
possible.  With the aid of her Computer and Virtual Visor, there is very little
information about anything that she cannot obtain, given sufficient time for
analysis.  What to do with that information, however, takes her a great deal
longer to figure out.
     "Combat-wise, her physical strength is limited.  Her Mercury Bubbles only
serves to confuse and disorient the enemy while providing concealment for the
rest of the Senshi.  Her Ice Bubbles are powerful enough to freeze an opponent
solid, but it takes a bit out of her to use it.  She's best off being used as
reserves as well as tactically coordinating a battle situation."
     He flipped another page and his eyebrows rose.  "Now we get to the part
about her vampirism.  Because she is a vampire, she has a higher level of 
physical power than she had before.  However, her emotional stability has been
shaken considerably and she is prone to letting the darker side of her emotions
show through.
     "She is very strong-willed when it comes to her desire for blood, however.
She would rather destroy herself than take blood from an unwilling victim.  She
still has nightmares about the first time she took Leda Kino's blood.  She
favors Serena Tsukino's blood the most, but shies away from taking it for fear
of accidentally causing harm to her.
     "Regarding her love life, she is deeply in love with the denizen Tolaris
and will do almost anything for him.  Her tendency towards darker emotions has
awakened a rather passionate streak in her, which leads to predictable results.
The one thing she feels that would make her life complete would be to one day
have Tolaris's child, a concept that has her secretly studying genetics and
trying to put together a working computer model."
     Lance put down Ami's folder and I blinked.  "Hold it.  I don't remember
writing anything about having her study genetics," I said with a confused look
on my face.
     Lance nodded.  "What you write and what your audience sees is on the
surface.  I went into some in-depth research on her persona and that's what I
came up with."  He smiled and added, "They have to do something during the gaps
between episodes."
     "Ahh, I see," I said, shaking my head in wonder.  "So now I have to hire
someone to tell me what it is I'm writing, eh?" I joked.
     "Looks that way, boss," he replied and picked up another folder.  "Next we
have Rei Hino, otherwise known as Sailor Mars.  Her devotion to her spiritual
studies is almost as zealous as Ami Mizuno's study habits.  Tempering her soul
in holy fire, however, has molded her personality to match.  She has a short,
fiery temper with an attitude to match, and she knows how to use both.  The
downside of that is she uses it against whomever happens to cross her, be it
the Negaverse of one of the other Senshi.
     "Once she becomes Sailor Mars, her inner fires are fully revealed.  Her
workouts have given her a fluidity second only to Mina Aino's natural grace and
body strength that rivals Leda Kino's.  Her Mars Fire can easily crisp most
opponents, though she tends to use it with little regard for the others around
her.  The Firebird is an attack that she wields with greater skill and control,
but requries a fair amount of concentration.  Despite these minor drawbacks,
she is best suited as a front-line combatant."
     Lance reached out and downed a small can of juice before flipping a few
pages and continuing.  "While she can be hot-headed at times, she is rather
practical on her outlook on life.  She despises evil with a passion and will
fight to the death to destroy it.  Her opinions of Serena Tsukino's leadership
skills are impolite at best, but there is no question of Rei's loyalty to her
or any of the other Senshi with the exception of Ami Mizuno.
     "She is openly distrustful of Ami's vampiric nature and makes no secret of
the fact that she carries several spiritual wards to use against her if she
should ever lose control.  Deep in her heart, she hates to do such a thing, but
she carries them out of fear for what might happen if she doesn't."
     He flipped another page and coughed delicately.  "About her love life....
She's fallen in love with Chad Segawa, a wanna-be rock star who works at the
temple when his band isn't out on concert tour.  Her passions are as fiery hot
as the rest of her nature, much to their mutual pleasure, but she also seems to
have a small affinity for pain.  A very sharp and carefully-wielded dagger
gives her a great deal of pleasure, but being in a situation where she has lost
control of the situation to someone she loves brings her even greater pleasure.
This is usually accomplished by some sort of physical restraint, like being
bound or being overpowered."
     "I'm not sure I wanted to know that," I said dryly.
     He shrugged and held up several pages of psychiatric evaluations.  "You
should read what the doctors have to say about that one."
     "I'll skip that for now.  Who's next?"
     He opened the third folder and cleared his throat.  "Leda Kino, otherwise
known as Sailor Jupiter.  She is rather aggressive in nature, more so than Rei
Hino's attitude.  The only thing more ferocious than her aggression is her
protectiveness for her friends, to such the extent that she will use lethal
force to defend them if necessary.
     "Once she becomes Sailor Jupiter, woe betide those who piss her off.  Her
extensive background in the martial arts has built her physical strength up to
the point to where she quite possibly the strongest of the Senshi.  Her Jupiter
Thunder is equally as powerful, capable of damaging most objects and opponents.
While her Thunder Dragon works in a similiar manner to Sailor Mars's Firebird
and doesn't require as much concentration, it requires a significantly higher
level of power to use and can easily drain her.  She is undoubtedly suited to
be the first one into a direct confrontation should one arise."
     Lance flipped a few more pages and shook his head in wonder.  "She has had
a rather long list of personal tragedies, including the deaths of her parents
and female lover.  Because of this, she deeply cherishes her friends.  She is
strongly drawn to Ami Mizuno, partly because of the pleasure of being drained
of her blood and partly because of her feelings that since Ami is a vampire,
she won't easily die on her.  She is more than slightly upset at Rei Hino's
distrustfulness of Ami and can't understand why she is so.
     "Leda is currently unattached.  She had a boyfriend at one time, but she
was dumped after they made love.  She fell in love with a female classmate and
had a relationship going, but the classmate died in a freak auto accident.  She
briefly pursued a relationship with Mina Aino, but that ended for the most part
when Mina fell in love with the denizen Maze."
     I nodded in understanding.  "So she's been through quite a lot, then," I
said, standing up to stretch for a moment.
     Lance also stood up and got another can of juice from the refrigerator in
the corner of the office.  "That she has.  Can I offer you something to drink,
boss?  Fruit juice, soda, coffee, alcohol....?" he asked.
     I thought about the kind of day I had and the offer of something with a
kick to it sounded tempting.  Still, I had to travel back and one thing you
don't want to be around a Toon is drunk.  "No, I'll pass, thanks."
     "If you're sure," he said as he sat back down and picked up the fourth
manilla folder.  "Mina Aino, otherwise known as Sailor Venus, also known as
Sailor V.  She possesses the natural, inherent grace of an angel with an
utterly insatable sense of curiosity.  While she possesses the widest range of
human emotions possible, she is also the most emotionally unstable and prone to
bizarre mood swings.  However, she is capable of keeping a great deal of this
hidden from the other Senshi.
     "She has two different transformation states.  The first is Sailor V, a
weakened form of her usual Sailor Senshi transformation due to a necessarily
premature activation of her Senshi powers.  For this she uses her Sailor V
Transformation Glasses.  As Sailor V, she has a highly self-confident and
street-wise attitude as well as a powerful range of martial arts skills.
     "Her other state, Sailor Venus, is the full-power transformation.  In
addition to her Sailor V skills, her Venus Crescent Beam is a focused-energy
attack, capable of demolishing small targets with pinpoint accuracy.  Her
Meteor Shower is a multiple-Beam attack that requires a great deal of energy to
use.  Sailor Venus, however, does not possess the same level of self-confidence
or self-assuredness as Sailor V.  Tactically, she is best suited as a follow-up
to an initial attack, as her powers can be suited for offense or defense as the
situation demands."
     Lance cleared his lungs as he flipped a few more pages and continued.
"Mina has had a very interesting childhood.  Her grandmother tried to raise her
to be a vampire hunter, being a direct descendent of the humans who were said
to have killed the legendary Count Dracula.  Unlike the others, she was found
first by Artemis.  He hadn't collected enough Lunar Energy to fully reactivate
the Venus Wand when a situation arose that demanded crisis intervention.  He
chose to use what energy he had to give her a partial transformation, hence
Sailor V.  Once he found enough energy, he was able to restore the Wand to full
power and allow Mina to become Sailor Venus.
     "Her experience as Sailor V has helped her develop a stronger sense of
self-confidence and independence.  As such, she tends to take most things in
stride that unbalance or surprise the rest of the Senshi.  Given her background
training with vampires, she is rather casual about Ami Mizuno's vampirism, but
still keeps a wary eye on her for any signs of danger or a sudden change in her
attitude, which she has made a secret vow to keep in check.  Despite this, she
is always willing to provide Ami with the blood she needs, only partially
because of the orgasmic reaction she has to being drained."
     Lance took another drink of his juice before flipping to the final set of
pages in the folder.  "As with all other aspects of her life, her curiosity has
had a serious impact on her love life.  Her curiosity led her to experiment
with Leda Kino for a brief time before she fell in love with the denizen Maze.
She is open to suggestions on her sex life and will consider trying almost
anything at least once.  However, she has publicly stated on more than one
occasion that in some aspects of sex, her curiosity does have its limits."
     "Now I know why Melissa referred to her as the Little Blonde Slut that one
day," I said as I stretched.
     Lance shook his head and held up several background sheets.  "The only
accurate part of that statement is the color of her hair.  She is extremely
faithful to Maze.  However, one of her darkest secrets is that she probably
wouldn't turn down a proposition from ANY of the other Senshi with regards to
experimentation and the like."
     "Uh huh," I said, more than slightly surprised by the little plot twist.
"Maybe I shouldn't have asked you for a complete analysis...."
     He smiled and picked up the last folder.  "Your decision, boss.  I just
did what you asked me to.  Now we come to the leader of the Senshi.  Serena
Tsukino, otherwise known as Sailor Moon, also known as the Moon Princess.  She
is a highly emotional individual who shares her feelings with everyone around
her.  But what makes her truly special is the sheer strength of the emotions.
She cares for her friends and loved ones with a passion that is stronger than
Ami Mizuno's dedication to her schoolwork or Mina Aino's burning curiosity.
     "As Sailor Moon, she is almost unstoppable if given enough time to prepare
a defense.  Her Moon Tiara is powerful enough to totally obliterate her enemies
on contact.  With the power of the Imperium Silver Crystal, she is capable of
healing the possessed and utterly destoying evil.  The Crystal can also project
an energy barrier to protect her from all but the most powerful attacks in the
known worlds, both Earth and the Negaverse.  In fact, the only thing capable
of counterbalancing the Imperium Silver Crystal is the NegaForce.  While Sailor
Moon posesses a strong sense of character and morality, she lacks the emotional
power of Serena.
     "As the daughter of the Royal House of the Moon, Serena can also transform
into the living incarnation of the Moon Princess.  As such, her combat and
tactical efficiency are quite limited, but she possesses a tremendous amount of
understanding and wisdom.  Only as the Moon Princess can she fully unlock the
powers of the Imperium Silver Crystal."
     He downed the last of the juice and threw the empty can into a trash can
before flipping to the next set of pages.  "Serena's mother was Queen Serenity
of the Moon Kingdom.  The Queen sacrificed her life to ensure that Serena and
the rest of the Senshi would be able to live on after the Negaverse destroyed
her kingdom.  Serena didn't find out until later in her life that her father
was the denizen Raijen, the captain of the Dragoons, which is the Negaverse's
elite military intelligence division.  Oddly enough, while most Dragoons don't
consider her an ally because of her lineage, very few of them would consider
taking any sort of action against her or the other Senshi.  Due to the power of
Serenity's love, both her and Raijen's souls continue to exist as part of the
Imperium Silver Crystal and can offer guidance to Serena when necessary.
     "Because Serena's mind is actually an amalgam of the personas of Serena,
Sailor Moon, and the Moon Princess, she is more adaptable than most people
realize, including herself.  Ami Mizuno's vampirism caused her a great deal of
trouble at first but she has managed to get used to the idea and will volunteer
her blood if needed.
     "As for her love life, she is deeply in love with Darian Chiba, otherwise
known as Tuxedo Mask, also known as Prince Darian from the Moon Kingdom.  Their
romance has been slowly building over the past few years, a fact that is no
surprise to any of the Senshi given their past history on the Moon Kingdom.
She is the only virgin among the Senshi, but that doesn't trouble her since she
knows that all will be dealt with accordingly when the time is right, a time
for which she has all the patience in the world."
     "A pity most people nowadays don't have the same patience," I said as he
closed the folder and handed the stack to me.  "You've did some excellent work,
Lance.  I think Andrea can do a lot with this.  Thank you."
     He smiled and shrugged.  "Hey, investigations are my job."
     | nodded.  "Speaking of jobs, how would you some repeat business?"
     He blinked and looked at me with a slightly wary eye.  "I'm listening."
     "I want you to do the same type of background investigations for Darian,
the four denizens living on Earth, and the other Senshi."
     Lance gave me a blank look.  "....Other Senshi?" he asked.
     I gave him one of my dark and evil smiles, one of the ones designed to
make people wonder.  "Why, yes, the other Senshi.  Granted they won't be around
for quite awhile, but you can still start looking for clues and such.  Unless,
of course, you don't think you'd be up to that sort of challenge...."
     As I expected, he rose to his feet and gave me a look.  "Of course I'm up
to that sort of thing.  I am one of the best, you know."  He coughed softly and
gave me a slightly pained look.  "I don't mean to sound ungrateful or anything,
boss, but that kind of research doesn't run cheap...."
     I drew two cards from my pocket and tossed them on the table.  "I think
that these should make everything worthwhile," I said with another smile.
     He looked at the cards and blinked.  The first was a dark green card, the
type of card used for allocating a set amount of money to a chargable account,
sort of like a prepaid credit card.  The amount of money on the card was hardly
trival and was, in fact, bordering on staggering.
     The other card was a distinctive gold color, etched with silver filigree.
That kind of card was only used for one thing, and the effect it had on Lance
was the same effect it would have had on any animated being.
     "A story contract...?" he said in awe.
     "Two of them, actually," I said, "With the open-ended option of a third.
You see, I'm going to give the details of my visit here to another Director,
and she's probably going to want to have it published on her Web site.  Which
means you'll be seen by the real-world public.  After you get the information
on the people I requested, we'll have to do this character review again, so
there's your second contract."
     Lance sat down in his chair, his hands shaking slightly.  "And the third?"
he asked, his voice barely audible.
     "If she requests, I'll give her the script to the Dark Hunter story.  If
there is enough demand for it, I just might be forced to resurrect the plotline
and keep writing."
     Lance looked ready to cry with joy.  "I.... I don't know how I can ever
thank you enough, boss...."
     I smiled and stood up.  "Actually, there are two things you can do.  First
off, do as great a job on the next set of analyses as you did on this one."
     He jumped to his feet and shook my hand vigorously.  "Consider it done,
boss.  What's the second?"
     I sighed and rubbed my eyes.  "I've got a Director's meeting to be at in
two hours, and I don't want to have to go back the same way I came in."  He
gave me a curious look and I added, "ToonTown can be very trying at times."
     He nodded in understanding.  "I know, I had to go there for a bit of
research once.  I'll arrange for a flight to take you back to ToonTown and to
have a very respectable cab driver waiting for you to get you back to the main
tunnel.  If you'll just wait a few minutes while I make a few phone calls?"
     I nodded and thanked him, grateful that things were starting to go my
way.  If things kept going at this rate, my next visit to this strange but
enchanting animated world should be a totally pleasant one.
     Of course, anytime you have to pass through ToonTown, you never know....

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